It's Better To Not Know Better (Ziam)

Hope For The Not-So-Independent Soldiers

Hello all! So since you got the votes up to ten SUPER QUICK for Brakes, I decided to get to work ASAP on the next one. And my fingers puked art and made a masterpiece. This was my favorite chapter to write so far, because there's so much love in it. (I stayed up until 3:00am putting finishing touches on this, editing words to make it seem more like something they would say, it's a nice job<3) I will admit, I let my Niall feels get to me a bit, but maybe that's what made me write this chapter to be so cute, simply the presence of Niall... Anyway, thank you for the Happy Birthdays, it was great! My dad got me the Up All Night DVD and I watched it with my little brother...  And he liked it! Not that that matters--Anyway, I hope you like this chapter as much as I do! Love!

Zayn hid his face in his knees, ready to break. Ready to go home, fix Liam, fix everyone, and maybe, tell.

It would be so easy to give up, he thought. And I want to, but... I can't.

He couldn't. If he quit, it would be for Liam, but at the same time, he had to keep it up for Liam. Since the talk with Harry, Zayn had come to better terms with himself and his feelings. He was sure he was in love with Liam--something he'd never been able to say about anyone--but he wasn't sure what to make of it. In other words; he wasn't really sure what to do with it, or about it, now that he'd made it his own.

To Zayn, his feelings could be summed up as a necklace that hides under someone's shirt, hiding from attention, speculation, and curious stares. If Zayn's necklace were to be seen, people would ask about it, how much it means to him, how long he's had it. But the chemistry that the fans saw was only the thin golden chain. It was crazy, but accurate. Because it was also close to his heart.

He actually smiled, thinking about how sappy he sounded. The smile turned into a small laugh, engulfing him in familiar happiness. He shook his head. Only Liam could do this to him.

He looked back up at the real world, where he finally felt safe. Which was crazy, considering his location.

The vacant subway train shook as it made its way down the tracks. Any normal person would've kept their head down. Graffiti stained the walls, pointlessly covering everything up, letters carved into the seats, plastic bags and napkins and such were strewn all over the floor, stains of dark red and brown painted various surfaces. One of the seats had a large chunk of it broken off, the lights flickered ominously, and to top it off, there was a suffocating stench that he couldn't identify, and wasn't sure he wanted to. Had he decided the floor a safe place to put his Nike clad feet, he wouldn't have been surprised if they had been devoured by insects by now. He pulled his knees closer to his chest.

All he could do was think of what would happen when he went back. He wanted to tell, but would he be able to when the time came?

But Liam... Louis and Harry had said that Liam was the worst. And Zayn wasn't about to question it. He knew how he felt when he was away from Liam for too long. This, the feeling he had now, was nothing. Too long was a little further down the road, and he'd know when he hit it.

But smiling at his thoughts in an empty, possibly contaminated subway car--it was a nice break for him. He felt like everything was going to be okay. The thought occurred that he had no idea where he was going, and that just made him grin.

"What am I gonna do," he chuckled quietly.

~.*+*.~

Liam bit his lip hard as he collapsed back into the seat of the car. The conversation with Louis had not been necessary. Liam knew how he felt about the entire situation: It sucked and he wanted Zayn back. Just like everyone else. But Louis had to just blow everything out of proportion. It's no wonder Zayn wanted to leave.