ALLEGIANT

Chapter: 9

When I say his name he starts but doesn't turn.
"What" is all he says to me.
"Why are you here, why didn't you visit me, after-"
"After I found out I was gonna die sometime in the next 8 months?"

He flicks something out of his hand and it falls to the floor.

I look at the room around me, a wide empty space with chairs lining the walls.
He turns to me, "How did you even find me here?" He asks.

"Peter told me."
"Of corse he did"
"Tobias, I have done nothing wrong to you. I haven't done anything-"
"I know!" He explodes. "I know you haven't done anything. You've done nothing but help, you've been strong when your parents died, when Caleb sided with Erudite. You have been strong throughout all of this and here I am moping around because I'm not ready to die!"

I stumble back, shocked at his words. Never in a million years did I think that he would be saying this to me.

Never did I think that his pride would let him.
I reach out and touch his shoulder.
"You know we can-" I begin.
"We can what!" He snaps continuing before I can respond. I'm startled by his response and I let my hand fall.. He continues "We can fix it, change the future? You and I both know we can't Beatrice"

"I was going to say we can talk about it," I reach my hand to touch him again, slow like approaching a wounded animal.

He looks down to face me and I can't help but will myself to imagine a world without him.

I can't.

"What is there to talk about, I'm going to die" he puts his hands in I'm his pockets, casually, but I can see by the way his jaw is locked that they're balled into fists.

"You're not going to die"  I tell him. "I'm not going to let you."

He takes a step back stopping a few feet away.

"You all saw what I saw and you all know" his voice isn't sad or upset, it's angry.

I think back to initiation, of Tobias' response to every thing I did. His anger when I volunteered for Al, his aloofness when I wanted to talk, his overall demeanor screamed for me to stay away from him, but I haven't and I know my instincts aren't wrong with this, he can't die.

"It's not going to happen! It can't," I touch his chest, my small hand curling into the fabric and I try not to cry. "they might be wrong, they may be insane. I mean come on Four! When Cara explained it to me she sounded crazy, she claims that they have it all figured out. But how? How can they know when people are going to die and how they die?" I know by the look on his face that I've said something I really shouldn't have.

"What?" he blanches.
"Tobias I-"
"They know" he says, ignoring me. "They know how I die and who is going to kill me  if it comes to that, don't they."

I don't bother lying, I know the good it would do me.

"Yes."
"Do you know?" He says, careful not to make eye contact with me.

"No" I don't lie.

"Do you want to?" his words come out in a hiss and I have the urge to run.

"Yes."

He shakes his head and walks away from me.

"Tobias! Where are you going?" I call after him, my legs having difficulty keeping up with his brisk pace.
"To find Cara" he tells me.

"She's not going to tell you." I respond, confused at this change in conversation.

"I know she won't want to tell me but she will." His tone is eerily calm.