ALLEGIANT

Chapter: FOUR <4

My hands are clutching dry pavement, my nails raking the ground as I search for air.

I can't breathe, not because my lack of ability, but because I can't find the will to fill my lungs.

I'm leaning back now, on my elbows in a pose that would be considered casual if not for my situation. I still can feel Peter leaning above my now shaking figure, his lips are moving but I can't understand what he saying. I don't even hear him. All I hear is the roar of blood in my ears as his earlier words play over and over. "I am the simulation"

My first reaction is to be shocked but then, as I look up at this innocent looking beautiful boy, knowing what he's capable of and having a taste of it firsthand I know not to be shocked

My second thought is,  What does that even mean? "I am the simulation?"

How incomprehensibly vague could he have been?

That's like saying I am life.

How does what he told me  differ from having the simulation in you, like every other person I know? I try to squirm out from underneath him as I picture the blank stare of the faces of my friends and family under simulation.

If this boy, now gesturing towards me and the buildings surrounding us, has the simulation in him still or if he actually Is the simulation, whatever that means, then I know only one thing for sure, I'm in more danger than usual.

"Peter." I choke out.

He doesn't seem to hear me, he just continues with his story his face contorting with either rage or pain, I can't tell, nor do I care. His lips are still moving and I feel a panic begin to set in, I can't hear him but I hear my own words as I shout "Peter!" I hear the sound of my dry throat cracking and I see that his lips stop have stopped moving, he looks down at me his eyes shadowed but showing the brightness accompanied by tears.

I've never seen Peter cry over anything, well anything other than the bullet wound in his arm that I inflicted. But he looks at me now and I see the pain from them and I stay quiet.

I'm really bad with people that are suffering. I don't ever know how to act, not that I care what Peter is suffering for, I tell myself.

Everything is still for a second, and then I see his body shift as leaps into actions as his arms come down pinning my forearms to the ground but I don't struggle even try against him, I know it would be futile.

He smiles.

I imagine his face as the simulation took him over and I brace myself for the worst, but all he says it, "This is the first time you've willingly said my name without trying to kill me or vice versa."

His voice is sharp yet it's somehow flowing, so different from his usual condescending tone.

"Well, this is the first time you've been in this position not trying to kill me" I retort, my face immediately flushing with the mistaken innuendo in my words.

Crap.

His face reddens as well as he looks down at his knees on either side of my hips, his face only a few inches from mine.

The thought of his proximity is like a slap to the face.

Tobias.

I look up at Peter and see him for what he really is, a monster.  I try pulling my body far enough away to be safe seems but it's near impossible with his vice like grip.

"Aye well" he coughs to clear his throat "you need to stop getting into stupid situations where your boyfriend and I have to save you, Stiff"

The comment hits me where it hurts and I remember the cold chill when Tobias wanted to end things. I don't smile.