The Void - Book I

XVII - Get Your Things

As soon as I was out of the restaurant, I ran to the woods and stripped out of my dress to shift. My wolf was begging to be let out.

She was just as hurt as I was. Neither of us could understand how anyone could not want their mate?

It just didn't make sense to me, there was no amount of rationalizing he could do that would change my mind.

My wolf told me to close my eyes and imagine myself in my wolf, and the shift would just happen. So that's what I did.

It was just barely less painful than the first time, but I relished in it. At least the physical pain was taking away from the pain my heart was feeling. I ran as fast as I could to the pack house but lingered in the woods to shift back and slip my dress back on, when I realized I didn't know how.

"Just close your eyes, and imagine yourself back in your skin. It will come naturally, and every time we shift, it will be less and less painful."

And so I did. It was once again less painful, but still not something I would want to continue doing if it was going to hurt this bad every damn time.

I quickly slipped my dress back on when I heard him.

"Deirdra, please, just listen."

I was furious now. I would not "just listen" to another word that came out of his stupid mouth.

"NO! I will not listen. You said what you had to say, and so did I. I don't know how or what to do, but I don't want this, not with you at least. I can't be with someone that can't respect their mate when they haven't even fucking met them yet!"

I was screaming, and I didn't care. Rafael must have heard because he was behind me, holding me back from attacking the Alpha. Mate or not, I'm sure that I would be punished for that, and that was the last thing I needed right now.

"What's going on here?" Rafael said.

"Oh, I'm sure you know." I snapped.

His eyes turned sad and he nodded, so he did know. I'm sure everyone in the pack knew.

Tears were streaming down Sam's face, he knew I was going to reject him, I just didn't know how that was done.

"If you're sure you don't want me, then you have to reject me."

"I'm sure, so tell me how it's done, so you can get back to disrespecting the mate bond."

I wouldn't usually be this rude or hurtful, but I was hurt, and truth be told, he brought it on himself.

"You and I will both cut our palms and you will have to state my full name and say you reject me, then I will say I accept your rejection, and that will be it. We'll feel the bond between us break, and you can go on with your life and be happy with Rafael. I'm sorry I couldn't have been a better man."

"Let's go inside and get this over with then. I'm sorry, Sam, but I just can't. I can't look past it all."

He seemed to understand and hung his head as he walked in the house, leaving Rafael and me to follow.

Quite a few people had gathered thanks to my tantrum, but I was angry and they were asking for it.

"Don't you people have anything better to do?!"

They all looked at the ground in unison and scurried back to whatever it was they should have been doing, rather than gathering like a flock of pigeons to watch that unfold between Samuel and me.

Samuel was in the kitchen, a knife ready and waiting on the counter. He was standing over the sink crying, and I almost felt bad for him.

He really did bring this on himself, he even said he would understand if I didn't choose him because of it, so obviously he saw this coming, with whoever would have been his mate.

I snatched the knife up off of the counter and swiftly cut my palm. He took the knife from my hand and did the same, then held our hands together.

"My middle name is Roman, by the way."

"Samuel Roman Laughlin, I reject you as my mate."

The words hurt my wolf, but she knew this was for the best, and we both knew we still had Rafael. We both also knew that it was going to be him, it was always him.

"I, Samuel Roman Laughlin, accept your rejection."

I gasped and clutched my chest with my free hand. It felt like a chunk of my heart had been ripped out, and the look on his face told me he was feeling the same thing.

"That's the bond severing, that's what hurts." Samuel's voice was full of pain, and I felt bad. I felt bad for hurting him, and I did feel bad for rejecting him.

"I'm sorry." My voice was barely above a whisper as I turned and left the kitchen, tears clouding my vision and spilling over on to my cheeks.

I didn't expect it to hurt this bad, but I guess that's what happens when a bond is severed.

Rafael was behind me, his steps so quiet I hadn't even heard him follow me up to what was supposed to be my room.

"I'll pack your things, you just head back to my house and I'll meet you there. We don't have to do dinner tonight either, I can cook or we can order food. Your choice, but it doesn't have to be made right now."

I nodded my head to acknowledge him and told him thank you, then I was gone. I ran as fast as my human legs would carry me to Raf's house.

I just wanted this day to end, I wanted it to be over with, and I wanted this to just be a terrible dream. Why did there have to be two?

I made it to Rafael's house faster than I expected to and went straight inside and up to his room.

A shower, or maybe a hot bath.

Definitely a bath.

I turned the water on as hot as it would go and stripped down. Tying my hair up in a bun as best I could, thanks to how short it was, I stepped in and let the sting of the water cover my body. I just wanted to wash this feeling off of me, I didn't want to feel the pain of the rejection anymore.

I let the water run until all of the hot water was gone and turned it off, sinking as low as I could go without accidentally drowning myself.

After what felt like an hour, I heard the front door open and close, letting me know Rafael was home.

Thank Goddess, I needed him right now. I wanted to relish in the bond with him, I wanted the bond to make everything go away, but something told me it just wouldn't be that easy.

Nothing could be easy, could it?