Changing Him

Chapter 20 - Realizations

This is the beginning of an ending. :') ENJOY! :****** I know its short. But it will all be worth it. I. Freaking. Promise. 

*** 

My heart stammered like it was about to jump out of my body. I froze. Okay. This isn't normal anymore. Is someone behind all of this? Seriously. I'm half expecting Ashton Kutcher on jumping out of nowhere and say that I'm on his gag show. I held my breath. I only realized it when Harry started talking.

"Well?" He asks his smile nervous yet determinated. I looked at those eyes. They were tender, soft, and green. In the dark, I don't know how, but somehow, they looked like a light shade of blue. Blue. Just like James'. The way he smiles and the smile reaches his eyes, the way they look at me with confusement and disappointment awhile ago at the theatre. The way James...whoa wait. Why am I even thinking about James right now.

I was in front of the most genuine man I know, (probably one of the gorgeous may I add), asking me out, and all I can think about is my ex bestfriend who broke up, (we're not even together, but by the looks of things, I'm not really hoping for a reconciliation soon) with me.

I kept on staring at thin air, and Harry was just waiting.

And then it hit me.

I didn't know why I suddenly flashed back to this memory, but I remembered it vividly. It was back in sixth grade and me and James were discussing about love, (don't ask why) and I sarcastically said,

"Hey, what if we actually fell in love." I swear, I have no idea what hit me back then. But I remembered his look. He looked so...so...disturbed. Like he was so guilty. And then, I touched his arm asking if he was okay. And he ran away, we didn't talk for like, three weeks after that.

I never asked him about it, thinking I might offend him. I mean, who would love the geeky nerd who didn't really fit in?

And then another realization hit me again. This time with a baseball bat.

He loves me. And I'm starting to realize that, I love him.

So I never thought I did what I did, but I had no choice.

I sat up and straightened my posture. I took a deep breath.

"I- I'm so sorry Harry," I started babbling. "But, I, uhm..."

Harry didn't let me finish. "I thought you love me."

I looked down on him blinking back tears forming in my eyes. "I do. I love you, Harry." I wiped a tear rolling on his cheek. "I'm just not in love with you. And I..I realized something. I realized that I'm..I'm.."

"You're in love with James, aren't you?" I nodded. He surprisingly smiled. "I knew it. I knew you two will end up together."

More shock for me. I mean, I don't know about you, but that is NOT what I expected. Not that I'm complaining or anything but when the love of your life (Not that I'm his, but I sort of felt that) rejected you, wouldn't you get depressed to the point that you might take your own life? As if on cue, he answered the thing that boggled my mind.

"Because I truly believe that if you love someone," He gave me a weak smile. "You have to lett her go." With that, he hugged me, I hugged him back whispering, "Thank you."

He patted my back. "Now go get your prince charming," We broke or small hug and I started to run. As fast as I could. But not to his house of course, I wouldn't want to seem like a psycho, waking up his family at the middle of the night. I finally realized it. This chance. The chance to say to him that I love him. We'll be together. Finally.

***

I woke up, as happy as a bee. I started to dance while fixing myself, humming this really catchy song sung by Foster The People. Everything will be perfect today and it starts right now which is...I looked at the clock. My eyes widen and I think my heart skipped a beat. 1:05 pm?! And no one even bothered to wake me up?

I quickly opened my door and shouted, "Guys, where are you?!" I started tapping my feet through the staircase and I saw Matthew and my parents bundled around the sofa, looking like someone just died.

"What's with the faces?" I asked. My mom blew her nose on a tissue and crumpled it.

"The Coopers just moved out and I already miss them. We're not going to see them for like...." I froze. Oh no. Oh no. OH NO. This is not happening right now.

I sprinted out of our property and started ringing on their doorbell. As dumb as it sounds, of course no one answered. I opened the gate, (Seeing as it is halfway open) and they were right. They weren't there. They left. Just like that. And my parents didn't even tell me. He didn't even tell me. I started breaking down, then I felt somethign move and it was my phone. I pulled it out of my pants pocket and scanned it.

It was a text message.

From....

Mint. Huh, thanks for raising my expectations. If she was here, I would probably yell at her for her impeccable timing.

Hey, Alice. James dropped by at my house and had this letter delivered for you. You should drop by later. I didn't even know they were moving out. Can you believe that?! But he said that he isn't going to move out today, he's staying at his friends' house for the night and he's going to leave tomorrow by train. PS; if you can also buy some doughnuts, please do.

My hands were shaking. I couldn't believe it, not about the doughnut part anyway. James was still in town. HE WAS STILL HERE. Alice composed herself and started running again.

Once Iarrived at Mint's house, (which was like, four blocks away) I knocked on the door and Mint opened it. When opening it, the first words she said was, "Where are the doughnuts?"

I brushed past her. "Uh, I don't really think this is the time for you to ask that."

"Uh, why?" She asked in this sarcastic voice.

"Because I just realized that I'm in love with the person who I hate the most." She blinked abnormally. "And I think I don't even hate him anymore. I am irrevocably in love with him, and I don't think he knows that."

Mint didn't utter a word but she hugged me. "You finally realized." She said with a dazzling smile. I stared at her, waiting for something. When she finally remembered, she shoved her pockets and gave me the neatly and safely kept letter. I snatched it from her grip and opened it like I was hungry. The I opened it and saw his, (surprisingly legible) handwriting.

Dear Alice,

Hey. I didn't want to disturb you so here I am. Writing a letter. I really don't like writing these things because I firmly believe that these are the corniest things ever but I just want you to know that I got accepted in the college I applied for. And my dad got promoted to the CEO of his company. And as if on purpose, its near my college. So moving was the right way to go. I don't know why I even need to tell this but if you want to catch a glimpse of me, my train ride is at 3 pm tomorrow.

Be there.

For me.

Love,

James xx

I dropped the letter and almost died.