Wattpad Be Like...

Mah teacher Mah daddy. What are ya doing with yer life....

Please take a moment to appreciate this song.

If ANYONE has ever read the teacher and student affair books, YOU ALREADY KNOW that it all starts with a student being rude or forgets something and the teacher's like, "After school detention,and don't be late!"

I roll my eyes so hard at those moments.

Then the teacher and the student get frisky at school by the teacher either A) pushing the student to the wall or B) them getting so close together their stank breath mixes or some shiz like that.

WHAT KIND OF TEACHER WOULD DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!!?!?

You must not value your job at all to be messing it up with some fetus that doesn't even know what she wants.

Okay, on to the next thing, Wattpad stories go all into detail about how someone looks and the clothing they wear.

I actually tried that before, when I looked at someone and tried to describe them like Wattpad characters do.

Let's just say, that's a TERRIBLE idea.

Not only would you look very creepy staring at them, but your eyes will wander to certain places they SHOULDN'T be wandering to.

Like how tight their pants are, or how they run their fingers effortlessly through their dark hair, or how-

Woah! I think I have to stop reading those kinds of stories on Wattpad. Their getting to my head.

I promise you, if I go crazy one day, it's going to be because of Wattpad.

Anyway, you don't need to go through EVERY SINGLE DETAIL about them. For example...

I stared at the girl across the room. She tucked a piece of blondish brownish hairish hair behind her ear.

She inaudibly sniffed in, making the one nose hair that was 0.0000000000000000002 millimeters longer than the rest go inward toward her nostril, then slowly relax back to its natural state as she breathed out.

The wrinkle that came in between her eyebrows as she furrowed them made me smile. Her boobs were slightly uneven, her right one dominating the left by about 0.0025 millimeters of their circumference.

There was a pice of thread sticking out of her white blouse. I couldn't help but count how many pieces of thread could come from such a blouse. One... two... three... four...

"Excuse me creep, why are you staring at me?" She said.

I swallowed thickly. "How did you know my name?"

Okay, okay. I might have gotten a little carried away, but I'm gonna be honest. Descriptions are addicting to write. At least for me, anyway.

The next cliche I'm going to address is the dumb comebacks that are meant to make the main character girl seem tough.

Like when I wrote about Mr. Jackman(aka the teacher) telling Miss Keisha(the student) that she was unprepared and she was like, "You think I care?"

Ooooooh! You go Miss Keisha! YOU SLAY MY WORLD QUEEN! 😑

Also that entire thing with her saying she didn't know she could be loved, REALLY CLICHE!!!!!!!!

Oh, and for those who don't know what Lazytown is, THAT WAS MY CHILDHOOD SHOW!!!!!

When I was really little, I had a crush on Sportacus that I'm NOT proud of.