To The Moon And Back | ON HOLD

19 | Sarin

E L L I E

A gust of cold air whisked across my face the moment my heels had made contact with the concrete outside. It's times like these I wish that Summer could stay all year round.

I mean technically if that happened then that would mean the world is in a catastrophic state and global warming has taken full effect. But it would be nice.

Or I could just move to California.

Outside, the darkness had clouded at least a third of the streets but considering that I was still within the vicinity of the restaurant, I didn't have the urge to run back inside yet. The lamppost barely illuminated the parking lot but thankfully it still gave me a good view of Xavier's tour bus which means he's still here.

But where?

Without thinking much of it, I sauntered across the parking lot towards the bus. I know being outside by myself especially at a time like this could have dire consequences but every time we leave our houses we're putting ourselves in danger. What difference does this make?

When I successfully made it to the bus, I peered inside, but unfortunately Xavier was not there. I decided to backtrack and head to the spot where I stood mere seconds ago but something on the far end of the restaurant caught my eye.

It was a hand slightly outstretched with a cigarette pinched between the persons middle and index finger. I first came to the conclusion that it was some random person from inside but when my eyes locked in on that silver wristwatch and ring riddled fingers, I knew for a fact that it was Xavier.

He smokes?

HE SMOKES!?

I swallowed hard and tried to bite back the nerves shooting up my spine. His friends inside surely did psych me out but I won't let it get to my head. I clutched onto my purse tightly and sauntered across the parking lot towards him.

When it was apparent that someone was approaching, he lowered his hand down and emerged from behind the wall. "What are you doing here?" He asked, refusing me even a second to speak first. Due to the lack of light in this area, it was hard to make out the features on his face.

"I came to make sure you were okay."

"Of course you did," he mumbled. The tone of his voice didn't sound the slightest surprised nor angry. He sounded. . .disappointed? "You know lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer deaths amongst males right? You're basically smoking your life away."

Ironic coming from me. I mean I don't smoke but I'm a cancer patient myself, failing to encourage someone to not put themselves in that situation–horribly might I add. "Thank you for your TED talk, Ellie. Now please just go back inside."

He pressed the cigarette between his chapped lips and pivoted on his heels to face away from me as he took in a long drag. The poisonous nicotine swivelled in the air and dispersed from my sight and although from the distance I stood I could barely take a whiff of it, knowing that it was going into his lungs did just as much damage.

"I–I had to make sure you were okay. Your friends made it seem like when you're angry you're dangerous or something." He pressed his back against the wall and narrowed his head up towards the sky. "Of course they did," I could hear it: the pain in his voice.