Trouble (Troyler AU)

10- Auditions

~Guess who hasnt updated in around seventeen and a half dog years. This girl. I got very self concious about my writing for a while and stopped completely, but i got a little motivation boost and have real ideas for this fic now and i hope to continue it more frequently- how can i not when it just hit 30k reads? Thats insane, thank you so much. Also the end of this chapter was very fun to write because the ideas kept coming- there is major foreshadowing there so keep an eye out~

I wonder what his hands would feel like elsewhere.

Another unwanted image. Great.
Tylers thoughts were uncontrolled throughout most of the duration of the day. The feeble attemps of blocking out what had happened in the morning failed him- there was no hiding from what Troye had done. But he tried to train them to only the upcoming drama class and the auditions at the end of it. Focusing on the subject offered some shelter- determination took his mind elsewhere. He was going to get that stupid role and own the stupid play and show those stupid boys that he was not as stupid as they assumed.

They were not going to ruin anything for him. He was just afraid of what was in store for him in last session. If Caspar or Troye decided to start up their little game like Troye did to him in the morning, then he was done for. No other time had he felt so conflicted... But then again he was sure if Troye ever touched him again like that he would have no problem just slapping him right there.

Would he though?

Tyler frowned at himself, hanging his head in his hands as he sulked in the back of the classroom in maths class. He was so pathetic. The fact was, he had never been in a real relationship or anything of that nature before, nor did he intend to get into one anytime soon. He didnt see the need to rely on someone else, or give himself to them willingly. If he ever did, that person would have to be the one he cared about most in the entire world, someone who would care about him just as much as he cared about them. But as time went on and society 'progressed' something like this seemed to be getting harder and harder to find.

Now, it seemed like people opened themselves up to the first opportunity that threw itself in their way without much consideration or deeper feelings. Most of the relationships in his school were flimsy and cheap, the publicity and attraction of the word 'couple' outweighing the actual concept of love or even attraction to the other person in some cases. It was as if having a partner was just a thing to brag about, to show off by making out in hallways or to playfully tease others who were single. But being alone always seemed to appeal more to him than any of this. So he watched as drama unfolded and people continued to grow less genuine, launching straight into kissing on the first day of dating and hooking up soon after just for something to talk about. If one thing was for sure is that he was determined to never be a part of any of this, a part in the students pathetic flings and scemes. He just wasnt that kind of person.

They were just kids. Kids playing around with something they didnt understand. In their minds, they were living in real life struggles. Looking in from the outside, all Tyler could see was juvanile games.

If he were ever to get into a relationship, it would happen when he was older and most likely be with a quiet boy who focused on his studies, had a genuine personality and cared as much as he did. The boy would most definately not have a lip ring either. Tyler would have something that required actual effort, something with thought and meaning- the amount of relationships in the school actually sickened him. He would NOT get involved in anything while he was here... Not that anyone wanted to be with him anyway. He didnt have much of a choice.

His brain was going weird. It was probably just from Connor withdrawl.

Connor had been sick for a while now. Nothing too serious, just a constant fever that wouldnt seem to go away. Connor seemed to text him a lot after school, which was strangely usual for him when Tyler thought about it. Connor had always been the clingiest when their friendship developed and almost obsessive texting was an after effect of that- the fact that he was sick and bored right now only made it worse. Even though Tyler didnt have much else to do, he could admit that he didnt enjoy texting Connor as much as the latter did- blocking off conversations easily. When his friend would send him long paragraphs about his thoughts and day and life, Tyler would reply with short answers that didnt leave much room for conversation. He felt bad about it afterwards, immediately regretting texts as his finger left the send button but he couldnt bring himself to change.