Thirteen

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My tutoring had been going well, considering it had only been going on for a week. Too well, in fact. I was starting to actually know what was going on in class and Mr. Carter had come to apologise for the fact he called me 'a lost cause' the other day. Suffice it to say, I was feeling pretty good about school. I was just feeling shit about everything else. The better school went, the worse I felt, and I convinced myself the two had to be connected. Was it a guilt for doing well? I felt guilty when I did bad, too, so there was no escape. 

The empty, cold house was starting to make me feel claustrophobic and I decided to do something wholly uncharacteristic; I went outside. Apart from the time I lost my mind and wandered the streets to stalk Lucas, I hadn't left the house for anything other than school. The fact that I had rolled out of bed, struggled into some warm clothing, and voluntarily wandered out into the cold night air filled with ghouls really said something about my growing hatred for the house. 

I trudged past the bar quietly, huffing in annoyance as another ghoul settled on my clothing. I hated them so much, but the memory of Lucas grabbing them so gently made me hesitate to hit them away. He had acted like they were a pet, something small to be loved and cared for, and here I was constantly throwing them and kicking them away. For some reason, I was starting to feel bad.

I hadn't seen Lucas since that night just over a week ago. As much as I wanted to, I just couldn't bring myself to go and look for him. Even now, as I glanced back at the bar, I wondered where he was and what he was doing. On one hand, I yearned for him, my body screamed out to go and find him. On the other, I was scared, and my mind told me to desperately forget I had ever met him. And on both hands, I held my deep-rooted hatred for doing whatever Dad would have wanted me to do. The problem was I wasn't sure which he wanted. 

I would imagine he would want me to run as far away from Lucas as possible. But, every now and then, I had this small inkling that he would actually be okay with him. Okay with the fact that I wanted to know more about this dark stranger. That he would be okay with it scared me more than the fact that he wasn't so, for now, I ignored everything and decided to let it be. If I ran into him, so be it, if I didn't then, well... so be it. 

The cafe came into view and I let out a chilly breath of happiness. I was so glad the owner was smart and stayed open later in winter - sometimes they didn't even close until ten pm. Although, we paid the price in the summer months when they close at three. I stepped up my pace, moving towards the bright lights and warm building as quickly as I could on the icy path. There were a lot of people outside, all breathing foggy breaths and holding onto warm to-go cups.

And then, instead of looking at the people, I was looking at the floor. The icy path had caused my foot to slip and I was teetering forward ready to land face down on the concrete. I thought you were meant to protect me, Dad?  A hand reached out and snaked around my arm, halting my forward momentum.

"Are you okay?" The voice was deep and rough, less husky and musical than Lucas's. I was actually sad that it wasn't his voice but mentally berated myself over the stupid thought. I stood up straight and gently pulled my arm from the stranger's hand before turning to face him.

"Yeah, thanks," I said with a small smile. 

He had shocking red hair except, unlike mine, his hair was a dyed fire-engine red, not a natural red. He was mixed raced, his skin a dark tanned colour I hadn't seen on any of the white-bread locals, and his eyes were a piercing blue. It was such an odd combination, but he pulled it off. I smiled and turned to leave but he grabbed my arm again.

"Could I buy you a drink?" He asked, a small smile playing on his lips. I hesitated and started to shake my head, not really wanting to lead this guy on and make him think I was interested in dating, but he cut me off. "Just a friendly one - I'm new to town and you look like you're my age. You go to the high school, right?" I paused and nodded my head.

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