Lucas ✔️

Two

The cafe was warm, the light scent of cinnamon and maple syrup wafting out onto the cold street as I opened the door. Janie waved her hand excitedly from the back of the store, sitting in our usual booth. Nodding my head in acknowledgment, a brief smile flickering across my face, I made my way to the counter to order. I hadn't been here for a few weeks - since the last time Janie forced me to catch up - but it still felt the same. The day he died I was here. Maybe that's why I avoid the place now; a sense of guilt for not being there when he needed me, similar to the hatred I felt for the dodgy bar down the road.

"Hey, Janie," I said with a small smile, sitting down with my order number.

"Lilith!" Janie had a large smile plastered across her face, her hand lazily spinning the straw in her drink. "I can't believe you came without arguing." She brushed a strand of blond hair behind her ear, her perfectly manicured nails standing out against her tanned skin. Why she still tanned in winter I would never understand, but it was just a part of who she was.

"How have you been holding up?" She knew I wasn't doing very well, but at least she gave me the courtesy of asking. Janie's eyes were an unusual blue that seemed to flash brown in the right lighting, and they currently stared me down, saying both 'I'm sorry' and 'I'm glad'. It's how people are- they're sorry it happened but they're glad it didn't happen to them. Actually, maybe that's more how I think and less how she thinks; me pushing my own selfish thoughts onto her simple, courteous question.

"I've been better, but I'm plodding along," I replied honestly, there wasn't much point in lying to Janie. She had an innate sense for these things, especially when it came to me. We had been friends for so many years that I could no longer remember a time without her. It used to be that way with him, too. It seemed everything reminded me of him lately. I guess that's to be expected, as he did only just die. But the days seemed to be getting longer and I was struggling to cope.

Maybe I was suddenly aware of all the time each day held, all the time I could have given but didn't. All those simple times where I was impatient on the phone or annoyed that he asked how my day was because it really was no different to any other. But now that he couldn't ask... I would take it all back. Every snide comment, every roll of the eyes, every complaint. I would swallow my words and do whatever he asked if it meant I got to see him again. I remember it clearly still; his face, when I was asked to identify him.

The water had started to rot his body, as it does. It took a good couple of days to locate the body after a storm hit the town and the sea became a churning death trap for all who ventured in. His face had scratches and cuts, most likely from bashing about in the waves. Add in the decomposition, and he was not a pretty sight.

Still, I could never forget my father.

Why he jumped I will never know. He seemed happy, content with the life we had created. I know being a single father would never have been easy, but surely, I wasn't the hardest teenager to raise. I enjoyed reading, stuck mostly to myself and rarely had any arguments with him. I mean, I was prone to ghoul-fuelled accidents, but I had been like that since I was born! We managed, and he seemed happy. I guess everyone seems happy... it doesn't mean they are.

Still, I couldn't fathom it. It wasn't like him. He wouldn't do something so... selfish. As harsh as it sounds, we both knew that I relied on him to take care of me - and now? He was gone. For whatever reason, he did it; he jumped off that bridge and killed himself. I can't understand it, but it doesn't mean it's not true.

I let out a light sigh, smiling at the waiter as he brought my weak coffee over. I was lucky I had turned eighteen a few months ago, or I would have been in the system and gone within ten hours. Apparently, being eighteen meant I could look after myself and didn't need a guardian. They were wrong, I did need one - I needed Dad.