Not over you

Blade(chapter 7)

As soon as I got home I went straight to my room,my mom works until six pm so she won't know I skipped school,

I lay on my bed crying I couldn't help it I couldn't stop it just kept going in my head

She was right

She was right

She was right

What if my dad did kill himself because of me,what if he ended his life because I was a failure?

I got up of my bed went to my 'special' box and lifted out one of my many blades, I slid my back down the wall facing my bed and rolled up my sleeve.

I took a deep breathe staring down at all my old scars tiny big deep thin everyone looked different, I place the blade against my skin and starting cutting,

After five cuts and my arms covered in blood I stopped and went into the shower to clean them up,

I slid my back down the shower wall crying my eyes out whilst my blood ran down the drain as if it was water.

That night I just got into bed and slept Evan my moms attempts to get me up were useless my second day back in Miami and I am already feeling suicidal.

The next morning I woke up dreading school but I still got up got ready and headed to my car,

Parking my car in the school car park I started to feel sick I sat in my car so long I didn't Evan have time to get to my locker I had to go straight to English,where Lauren was sitting in her seat.

When I walked into the class room I said sorry to the teacher for being late and started to walk to my seat to lock eyes with her green ones, they were filled with worry I just sat beside her not giving her any attenion.

"Okay class carry on with your project whilst i mark these papers"my teacher told us I sighed and put my head down on the desk.

"Camila"i heard and ignored it "camz"i heard again and my head shot up to look at her my eyes were like slits glaring at her "what"i snapped "are you okay"she asked worriedly

I just stared at her the girl I loved for years my bestfriend how the fuck could she tell Sarah about my dad why would she "why did you tell her about my dad"i hissed she looked surprised at my response,

"Camz" she started but I cut her of "why the hell did you tell her about my dad"i raised my voice which made everyone turn their Attention to us Evan the teacher,

"Is everything okay girls?"he asked I just glared at Lauren who answered for us "yes sir" she told him and he nodded turning his attention back to his papers.

She's such a bitch I hate her my dad of all things she could have to Sarah it was my dad I hate her I hate Sarah I hate me!

"Camila breath"someone told me I turned my head to see Lauren holding my arm just then I realised I was taking a anxiety attack I couldn't breath I was thinking of my dad to much,

The teacher rushed over to us and told one of the other students to get the nurse "camz you need to breath or you'll black out"i heard Lauren say "good" I mumble out with no breath just as everything went black.