Try Being Me.

Christmas be like:

"You kumquat!!" I shouted at Neo as he stole a cookie from my plate.

"Ouuuu!! I'm so offended!" He laughed.

Ever since the swear jar got installed, I've cut down on swearing... Alot! So have the boys and dad. The first week that jar was over flowing with coins and dollar bills , but I believe everyone had learned their lessons.

"Get ready !!" Dad called from upstairs. "We're going Christmas shopping."

"Where the heck am I supposed to get money from to go shopping?! " Khoi mumbled to himself. "I'm broke cause of the fucking jar!"

"That's a quarter Khoi," dad said as he descended the stairs.

"Fuck. Shit.Ass crack!" He swore then shoved a dollar into the jar.

Both dad and I stared at him.

"What?" He asked. "I didn't have any change."

About an hour later (when we were supposed to be at the mall) Theodore burst into the house with his luggages, and a visitor.

"I'm back bitches!" He shouted.

"That's a quarter in the swear jar. " I informed him not looking up from my phone.

"Why the fuck do we have a swear jar?" Theo asked as he placed the luggages at the door. "That's all we ever do..... Swear."

"Just drop fifty cents in the jar." Neo said appearing into the living room.

"Who dat?!" Addison asked as he stuff his hole with ice cream.

"Guys," Theo said clasping his hands. "This is my girlfriend, Bria."

We all looked at them both inspecting them. We never saw Theodore as the dating type. He just liked who he likes, get what he wants, then leave, and he always made that very clear. But somehow Bria had managed to change that.

Bria was pretty, like really fucking pretty. Bitch got me rethinking my sexual orientation and shit. Then again, all my brother's girlfriends got me feeling some type a way.

She had long brown hair that got lighter at the tips, and she was a smiler. Always smiling, and she has that spark in her eyes for Theodore. Too bad he's going to break her heart.

We were all sat on the couch conversing, and Andres joined the conversation.

"So how did you guys meet?" Dad asked curiously.

Theo usually picked up girls using cheesy pick up lines that worked.

"Umm..," Bria began. "He was french and I was french, and he say words to me that made me feel... Fantastic."

This should be good.

"I used one of my world famous pick up lines," Theo explained.

Figured.

"Which was?" Andres asked.

"Okay so check it," Theo began. "I went up to her and was like 'Is your left leg thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, because I can definitely visit you between the holidays."

I stared at him with my mouth slightly open, and Bria blushed.

"Dafu--" I stop myself and reorganized my thoughts. I was broke as fuck and wasn't trying to put another dollar in that damned jar.

"I mean what kind of pick up line is that?"

Theo shrugged. "The one that suggested that I could entre vos jambes qui signifie."

"Repulsive." I commented and the boys laughed.

The enter trip to the mall was a hot fucking mess! I was broke so I got everybody's present at the dollar tree (except dad's). Andres, Neo, and Addison basically got banned from the mall (don't ask why.), and when we were ready to leave, Khoi was no where to be found.

We ended up leaving his ass there and he had to take a cab home.