Zaddy's Baby Girl (BWWM) (Interracial)

22. Her name was Jamya

A/N.; Hi!☺️ Before we dwell into this chapter I want to give you a warning. This chapter may be triggering. This chapter also mentions child abuse, physically and mentally abuse, molestation, rape, and the use of drugs as well as under age drinking. Enjoy, and please, vote & comment! This is unedited. Deuces!🙋✌️
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'And you feelin' like you ain't got a purpose
And you tryna get motivated but everything you do turns into a mess
Like you ain't nothing but worthless
And, yo, you look around
A lot of these other people you lookin' at
To you, you describe as perfect
So you point a finger at God and tell him to do his job
And fix ya' life up cause nothin' is workin'!
And you will try to hide and make it seem like it's nothin'
But really you feel like everything is crashin' around you'
-Wake Up (NF)
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Aaliyah

I sat alone in my bed at the hospital. My family has gone to get some rest. Well, I had sent them away. I just wanted to be by myself. I saw them a little while ago. My babies are so small. They looked so fragile as if they would slip right through my fingers and be gone forever.

I wanted to hold them and never let them go. But I could not hold them nor touch my precious angels at all. I had to look at them from afar. I cried again. My babies did not deserve to be in there. They were supposed to be tucked safely away inside of my stomach before they made their grand entrance into the world surrounded by family.

The detective gave me a gift. He told me that it was from Jamya. The moment that he said her name so many conflicting emotions hit me at once. I wanted to tell him to keep it, get rid of it. I also wanted to find out what it was because it would be the last thing I would ever receive from her. I wanted answers to questions that only she could answer. I had hope that her final gift to me would at least be a clue.

However, when I unwrapped it I had found something more. Her final gift to me had been her diary. I sucked in a breath gently gliding my fingers over the cover tracing the letters of her name. "Jamya", I breathed, memories of our time together as friends flooding my mind. Taped to the diary was a note. I carefully removed it flipping it open.

'Hey bestie,

There's no easy way to say this, but i'm gone, Liyah. I am dead. I bet you are saying that there had to of have been another way. You didn't wish death upon me, even after all of the bullshit I had put you and your family through. You are a good person like that. I had not showed it over that last months, but I really appreciate you and everything you have done for me. Too little, too late, huh? I do though and I just wanted you to know that. And I want to apologise. I was such a bitch, girly. I have done so much shit to undeserving people because I was so angry at those that hurt me. Sis, I was the bitterest bitch known to man. You were right, right about everything. I know that I have you sitting there with all of these questions, but I can't answer them for you in person anymore. I'm sorry. I was a shitty friend and person. Take care of Zayn and tell him i'm sorry. Things went way too far and I hope that you guys can forgive me one-day. I am tired, Liyah. I'm so tired of suffering in silence and alone. I'm tired of depending on others for my happiness. I'm tired of always hearing their voices, feeling their touch, and seeing their faces. I can't continue living this way. Although I am not there, I left you my diary to answer your questions. You will always be my best friend, Liyah, and I hope that you get your happy ever after, sis. Goodbye, bestie.

Hopefully not burning in hell for all eternity,
Jamya',

It read. My hands shook and I felt a lump in my throat. I had to know what was in the pages of her diary. So after a few calming breaths, I flipped to the first page and began to read. The first entry dates back to before we had even met. It was during her middle school years.