[OLD] Cursed

Chapter 16

     The book was determined to wreck Thomas's day. His day started out fine. No seagulls woke him up with their annoying laughter, it wasn't cold out with the warm ocean breeze blowing through the forest, and a few pools of light managed to leak through the stone entranceway. But then, when Thomas went to go get the dictionary to start reading it, the dictionary refused to come out of the shelf.

     He gave the book another tug, but it was compressed between two thicker books, and not budging. Finally, he dug his fingers into the cover, prying it out of the bookshelf. It landed on the ground with a thud. He bent down to pick it up, then noticed a symbol of the ground. It was faint, so faint he almost missed it.

Hmm... Thomas placed the dictionary on the table and stared at the symbol hard, inspecting it closely. It looked like a bird. A bird taking flight. But what could it mean? He traced the edges of the symbol with two fingers, and strangely, it started to glow. A wisp of gold rose from the drawing, and the bird came to life.

     It looked almost like an illusion, since the bird was half transparent. It's golden wings filled up the whole room, pushing back bookshelves when it tried to fly in place. It's screech threatened to break his eardrums and he plugged his ears with his fingers. It's blue eyes, the same color as the sky, were dangerous and menacing. Finally, the bird settled down.

     "Greetings." It boomed. "Um... hi?" Thomas silently debated in his head whether he should stay and hear what the bird had to say, or turn and run out of the building. Stay. He decided. I've seen crazier things lately. Like a human who thinks she's a dragon...

     The bird flared it's wings and then tucked them in close to itself. "Thomas, we have many things to discuss." Thomas took a step back. How does it know my name? The bird let out a laugh, which sounded more like a sneeze. "I am the Sky Bird, the one who watches over the ones on the land. You included. Now tell me Thomas, who are you really?"

     Who are you really? Who are you really? The words echoed in his mind, a question he'd been dreading ever since he had stepped onto the land. He didn't know who he was. "I'm a sailor." "Lies!" The bird screeched. "Tell me who you really are!" For some reason, he couldn't force the truth out. "Tell me!" "No." The bird's blue eyes hardened, but they weren't cold. They were determined.

     "Tell me the truth!" "No!" He couldn't bring himself to spill it out. He couldn't. That would mean betraying everything he had ever said and everything he had even done. He couldn't tell the truth. "Tell me!" The bird spread its wings menacingly, it's eyes burning into his. "Tell. Me. The. Truth." The guilt was overwhelming, threatening to spill. No... keep it together... Then it all came out. "I don't know! I don't know, okay?" He grabbed the edge of the table to steady himself. "I don't know..." The last sentence came out in a whisper.

     The bird sighed, it's breath turning the pages of the dictionary. "Thomas, the boy who was banned from the seas, who still lingers in the past." It shook it's head and sighed again. "You have to be someone. But that is up to you to figure out." The bird stared at him with new eyes, almost gentle. "Think again Thomas. Who are you?"

     This time, Thomas didn't hold back the truth. "I used to be a sailor." He said, the words coming out easier now. "I'm not anymore. Captain banned me. And I'm glad he did. I would have never been able to do that, to stay away, by myself. Now..." He tried to finish the sentence, but he couldn't. "The truth hurts." The bird sympathized. "But sometimes, it's better to get it out." Thomas took a deep breath. Relax. Calm down... but what if Heaven hears me? No, don't think about that. "I'm a traitor." He muttered. Then he repeated it louder. "I'm a traitor."

     The bird cocked it's head. If it could have smiled, it probably would have. "Interesting..." It murmured, then straightened. "Do not suppress the truth Thomas. You must not hold it back. You know the pain of keeping it inside. But imagine if someone had been keeping it from you." What... what is it talking about? Why would I hold anything back? The bird averted it's eyes, not meeting his gaze anymore. "You will know when the time is right. But I'm afraid it I'll be too late by then."

     A cold feeling passed over him, and he felt as if he were a stone, sinking to the bottom of the sea. "Too late? What's too late? Why can't I do anything about it?" The bird just shook its head. "You will find out." "Tell me!" The bird's eyes dulled, and he realized it was fading. "Come back! I need to know!" But the bird had completely disappeared, sinking back into the earth, and the symbol appeared once again.

     Frustrated, he slammed his hand on the table, causing it to tremble. Why does everything and everyone keep the things that I want to know about the most from me? Why can't they just tell me the truth? I told the truth, after all! His hands were gripping the table so tightly, his knuckles had turned a ghostly shade of white. Breathe. A quiet voice urged. Deep breaths. In, out. In, out. The found the voice oddly soothing, so... familiar.

     His eyes stung, and he realized that the expanding feeling inside of him was regret, longing for the past. How could I ever forget?

     It wasn't your fault. The voice was a woman's voice. Soft, but full of sorrow. It was time for you to let go.

     Thomas closed his eyes, taking in another deep breath. Mother?

     Yes Thomas.

     His mother saying his name was foreign, unfamiliar, but he enjoyed it.

     You're not real, are you?

     There was a sound, almost like a sigh, but probably just the wind. It is you who decides that.

     How could I ever forget you? I can't, no, I won't forget you again.

     For a moment, he could see her eyes. Ocean blue, just like his. Thomas, the ones in life that are the closest to you are the ones you must let go.

     No. I won't.

     Thomas, you cannot hold onto me forever. You must live your own life, now, not in the past.

     Thomas sighed, opened his eyes, and looked up at the ceiling. His hands let the table go and he sighed again. Then he chose. A sigh echoed in his mind, almost relieved, as his mother drifted back into the past.