One Fucked Up World

Chapter Fourteen

Fourteen

     People say the first processing of being healed is to believe that you are sick. I tried not to act like I was doing that. I called it my journey to be normal again.

     I wasn't sick, but I needed to be normal. It'd feel good, not sometimes at night though. They were two worlds, the one in school, and the real one out there. If you were all healthy, you'd think I was being too dramatic. But feeling everyone else, that was the goal now. If you have been wanting a fish for a pet for a long time that it was all you could think about, and suddenly someone gave you one - how happy you would be! I wouldn't care if it was a piranha. It was simple as that.

     Miss Johnson promised that I could be like anybody you've found in the street. She'd help me. It wasn't just about the shoplifting, she called it the "inner truth of me", and there were many other things. Tommy liked that too.

     Sometimes it hurt my head when I saw Tommy. It was quite strange because he'd talk to me like Max did, but I couldn't let anyone know. Why would I want that? There was no point making things complicated while I was half way where I wanted to be. Strange. Not so very strange for me.

     I knocked Miss Johnson's door, she asked me to go in. She was wearing her favourite blouse. I told her about my date on Saturday.

     "That's great, Minnie," She smiled, "promise you'll tell me everything. Don't leave out a bit."

     "What do people do on dates?" I asked, "Tommy and I never had one."

     "No one really asked me out," Miss Johnson said gently. "I'm hoping the two of you would not get too physical."

     I shrugged.

     "Anyway, talk about your family today," Miss Johnson said. I told her everything she wanted to know. We had the practice of closing my eyes and going to a safe place, and Miss Johnson would let me stay there.

     I spent the following days thinking about the date. I was thinking about what to wear and my hair, and it was nice to have something normal to be happy about. Tommy didn't give me any ideas about what to wear. I resumed my habit of counting the bricks on the floor. I missed this. And so, the day finally arrived.

     I was nervous. Something was clutching and exploding inside. I kept looking at the door, then walked to the window. I smoothened the dress, where was he though?

     "Crisps?" Max offered.

     "Why not?" I said lightly.

     "No, no, no," Anne frowned like it was something important, "Don is taking you to eat later. Remember what I told you last night? Eat slowly. Don't wipe your mouth with the back of your hand like Max."

     "I barely does that," Max denied.

     "He did that on our first date. It made a horrible impression," Anne said. Max put his arm around Anne, which was lovely.

     "I'll remember that," I nodded.

     "And try not to stumble," Max said. He glanced at the new pair of heels he bought me, they were on sale. They were in blue. Max looked at Anne and they started laughing.

     "Are we listing out the embarrassing things we did on our first date?" Anne exchanged a look with Max. "Minnie, don't ruin the makeup and the hair."

     I hugged them both tightly. I felt like Anne even without the fancy hair band.

     "I'm so proud of you," Max beamed at me.