Lo Recuerdo Todo (Oscar Diaz/ OMB)

2.

"Morning." I greeted the first front end employee to join us for the opening shift today, her name is Carmen... I think... "I'm Naomi, I'm Jamal's cousin, I'll be taking over the shop this summer while the Turners open the new shop in Tennessee." I explained, looking up from the till and smiling.
She looked at me blankly, I wasn't sure if she didn't hear me or didn't care- so I dropped it.
I checked over the store and put my visor on before going to turn on the open sign, and unlock the front door.
I pushed it open, welcoming our first guest who happened to be Ruby, with his younger siblings, and abuela.
"Good morning, Ruby, what can we get for you?" I asked, pushing Carmen towards the drive up window.
"Morning Naomi," he smiled, quickly turning to his siblings, "1 kids cheeseburger, 1 kids chili dog, and 2 Turner dogs."
"Drinks? They're on the house for my favorite Martinez family." I winked and he nodded.
"2 chocolate milks, and 2 cokes."
"Gotchu." I grabbed the milks from the fridge behind me and gave them to the kids before pulling the $20 from his hands.
"How are you feeling this morning?" Ruby asked as his abuela took the kids outside to the picnic tables. I handed him is change pulling his receipt from the machine and turning to him.
"I'm fine!" I assured, giving the order to the cooks who grunted in approval. I leaned over the counter, already over today. "I don't get hungover, niñito." I mocked. And he rolled his eyes.
"So, how was dancing with the devil?" He leaned over the counter too now.
"Oscar? I couldn't believe it, with the facial hair, and tattoos... I couldn't believe it." I admit with a shrug.
"Yeah, he's a new man, different from the last time you were here, huh?" Ruby chuckled, and I nodded.
"I would say, 5 years does that."
"Oh yeah, he was out last time you were home..." Ruby recalled standing up straight as the door rang signaling another customer.
"Out? What do you mean?" I straightened up following his stride towards the pick up end of the restaurant. "Good morning guys, Carmen will be right with you!" I greeted the customers, looking at Carmen with a nod as she quietly made her way to the front to help the customers.
"Oscar, he went to prison." Ruby explained, although 'he was out' made perfect sense I was hoping I was just hearing things...
"For what?"
"Whatchu think? He's a fucking gang leader, Mi, he got caught doing gang shit..."
"Drugs? Assault?"
"It all factors in, he had it coming." Ruby brushed it off before continuing. "All I know is he didn't have that teardrop before he went in..."
We both looked at each other, my face felt oddly warm while my body felt extremely cold.
Not Oscar... not the Oscar I knew.
"Order up!" Mason from the back called out and I made quick of retrieving the Martinez order and handed the tray to Ruby.
"You don't look so good." He pulled the tray from my hands, and closer to his body concern on his face.
"I don't feel so good." I admit, shaking my head.
"Get some air." Ruby suggested, going to bring the food to his family and I nodded.
"Carmen, I need some air, I'll be back." I stumble outside to the back behind the gated dumpster.
The smell of rotted food was the kick I needed to release any and all contents in my stomach.
I leaned against the fence, holding my face to the sunlight with eyes closed.
How did this happen? When did this happen?
My family would come visit Freeridge every summer for as long as I could remember.
We were close with my Uncle, and I was close with Jamal. Although we had a significant age difference, of 8 years, we've been best friends since he was born.
I knew Monse, Ruby, and Cesar from when they were tiny tikes... I've seen them grow up.
But with knowing Cesar, came knowing Oscar. We were close- at least when I was here. We would always sneak off at night and go back to his place, we would watch movies, and listen to music, and talk.
But we weren't just innocent, we were kids- we were kids going through puberty at the same time, Oscar was 2 years older than me but we always were drawn to each other. We were complete when we were together.
He was my first everything, especially love...
We would send each other birthday cards every year, that were always personal, and truthfully embarrassing now that I think about it. But it was always this puppy love, this almost lust.
To want what you can't have.
We knew we couldn't have each other...
I didn't want to believe that my Oscar had the teardrop, or that my Oscar doesn't look like my Oscar. But I guess it all makes sense now, those 4 years that I didn't receive birthday cards were because he's no longer my Oscar.
My Oscar is dead...

***

I pulled my hair out my bun and rinsed off the day.
Jamal would be at the shop for a couple more hours, and tonight we're hosting everyone.
I made quick of personal hygiene and jumped out, I began to brush my teeth shaking my hair back out of my face and stood up  straight, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand and looked at myself. Then at the glasses on my vanity.
I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, breathing before going into my room and getting dressed. I grabbed my leggings from my drawer and a plain t shirt, sliding them on and I grabbed my purse and flannel from the chair in my room and walked into the corridor.
I heard what sounded like the front door closing and a huff from the living room...
I carefully tiptoed towards the noise, peeking around the corner and saw Monse sitting on the couch.
"Why are you doing in here?" I asked, relieved it wasn't a burglar.
"Oh, I have a key." She answered and I furrowed my brows in confusion.
"Why?" I asked, slipping my flannel on and pulling my purse strap to my shoulder.
"I copied Jamal's, for emergency's." She explained, but it really only led me to more questions.
"Okay." I shrugged walking to the front door. "I'm going to the grocery store, you wanna come?" I invited and she nodded.
"Okay." She got up following me to my car.
"So," I started as she sat and buckled up in my passenger seat, "what's the emergency?" I waited before starting my car.
"Oh, yeah- uh..."
"You can tell me anything, I'm a lot easier to talk to than the boys." I assured and she smiled softly, nodding.
"Well, it's Cesar..."
"What of him?" I pressed further hearing her want to back off the subject the moment she mentioned him.
"We're kinda of seeing each other..."
"Oh, and that's a bad thing? I can't really read you right now..."
"It's a good thing, I really like him- like like him a lot... but it's bad because it could ruin us." She fiddled with her hands in her lap, refusing eye contact. "Like Jamal and Ruby..."
"Jamal and Ruby are big boys, if they have an issue it's on them." I chuckled and she looked up at me, her expression heavy and I sat up straighter. "Am I missing something?"
"I'm scared for Cesar..."
"Are we still talking about you two dating?" I pressed for clarification.
"No..." she trailed, shifting in her seat to face me. I gave a small smile to hopefully comfort her and she nodded in reassurance. "Cesar joined Santos..." she began and I stayed silent, to give her time but mainly because my mouth immediately dried up and my throat tightened at the mention of it. "He got jumped in last week, and I can't keep it quiet anymore but I can't tell the boys. I need advice, and I need your help." She begged, tears brimming in her eyes as she fiercely tried to blink them back.
I grabbed her hand in mine and smiled, warmly trying to comfort her. "Anything, Monse." I promise.
"I need you to talk to Oscar."