Jackson, Mississippi
1967
Lucas
Walking back to my old house, I felt eyes from every corner. I knew that the Walters and Colemans had told everyone that they crossed paths with that the now infamous Smith family's son was sleeping with a negra.
"Fucking nigger lover!"
"Go back to your ape, you traitor!"
"There's the white boy that's in love with that coon!"
"You're raising a mulatto!"
I would've caused a scene, right in the middle of the street, but I knew if I did, I'd probably get jumped or killed. I can't leave Toni behind so I kept my mouth quiet and kept walking.
I walked up to my front door. I thought about knocking but technically after my ass of a father is dead, this house and all his assets go to me. And to me, he's already dead and this is already my house.
I walked in nonchalantly and saw my mother in the kitchen. "Lucas." She said with a surprised tone. I had no words for her. She let Father beat me and then joined in and acted as if she didn't.
She's dead to me, too.
I continued to my room as I heard her following behind me, "Lucas, you need to leave. Your father specifically said you are not welcomed back into this house or this family." I turned to her and had a look of disgust across my face.
"How can you be so stupid to let your husband abuse your own child then have the nerve to talk to me like this?" I asked. I got in her face. "You're disgusting!" I shouted.
"I am your son! You gave birth to me making you and I closer than you and him will EVER be!"
She looked away from me as tears were streaming down her face. My father is a pig, and a bigot, but she was just disgraceful to all woman and parents. She makes parenting look like a burden rather than a blessing.
"One thing I hope to teach my children is that they matter. Their love matters. Their choices matter. They fucking matter, mother."
I went back to my closet and started packing my bags. I was excited to get back to Toni even though we just had our first argument. I got heated too quickly and she took things out of context, but we'll be right back on the lovey-dovey cuddling soon.
"Lucas.."
I turned around and saw Mae Beau. She looked like she'd been crying since the second I left. Her eyes were bloodshot red and her hair was disheveled.
I walked up to her and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Mae Beau. I didn't mean to leave you so abruptly but you know I can't live here and be taking care of Toni and the baby at the same time. And I have to choose my child and her mother. Is that forgivable?"
She nodded and cried against my chest. I held her and let her cry as long as she wanted. In part, she is losing me so I understand.
She looked up and forced a smile on her face, "What will be the baby's name? Is it a girl or a boy?" She asked.
"It's gonna be a beautiful little girl named Harper Madison Smith." I said with a smile.
"I hope I get to meet her one day. Tell her I love her, you'll do that for me?" I nodded and kissed her head.
I finished packing all my stuff and gathered my bags. "I've called for a guy to pick up my valuables after that I'm out you and Father's life forever." I said towards my mother.
I walked out of my room and towards the front door when it opened. There I was looking eye to eye with the monster that I wanted to kill more than one could imagine.
