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Chapter 30. Emotionless

[ a/n ]: song to the side that kind of sets a sad/slow mood>>>

p.s// Melissa (one of the friends in the story) will no longer be in the story. I decided I'm going to edit a lot today and she was barely in it, so she's no longer apart of the story.

Chapter 30. Emotionless

I stand silently, having my hands folded together. No tears come from my eyes and no pain comes from my heart as I stand and look at the dark casket that holds my best friend who died to save me. Cole has his hand placed gently on my lower back, trying to give me comfort. Jackson stands beside Cole and Ryder stands beside Jackson. On my left is Kenzie and beside Kenzie is Lilly, who both have been crying ever since the ceremony started.

My friends cry and Connor's parents sob and so does Chase. I stand stiffly and numbly while looking down at my feet, playing with the black cloth material of my dress. Dylan stands behind me and I have seen him swallow visibly multiple times now, trying to suppress the urge to let out a scream of anger or let a tear slip from his eyes.

Dylan and Connor weren't as close as I was with him, but they were a close second, so in a sense, Dylan lost his best friend, too.

"In loving memory of Connor Theodore Newman, a loving son, brother, and friend, he will be missed." The eulogist says with a sadness placed in his voice, even though he never met Connor.

Connor's mother lets out another sob and and her husband, Mr. Newman, pulls her close. I flutter my gaze away from the solemn couple and turn my attention to Chase who is first to throw dirt onto Connor's casket while he is lowered into the pit that has been dug up just for him.

"Are you okay?" Cole whispers in my ear from my right.

I nod tensely, but he doesn't buy it, so he pulls me into his side and I rest my head on his shoulder, keeping my still gaze upon my best friend's casket that is now being buried.

It's been two weeks since the fire, since Connor died, since Jackson pulled Connor's body out of my burning house just so he could have a proper burial, since Griffin died, and since my dad and Andrea got back from their little vacation and announced they were getting married. It's been a week and a half since I have talked longer than three minutes with someone and a week and a half since everyone I know has been trying to get me to speak or show any emotion, really.

My father was at least sensitive and kind about the whole Connor situation, so he tried to make me tea and breakfast every morning and let me stay locked inside my room basically all week, instead of doing his new fatherly routine of making everyone get out of their bedroom and enjoy the day. I haven't left my room for essentially anything, since I have a bathroom in my room, although I leave my territory for food.

Once the casket is invisible under the dirt and buried beneath the ground, everyone takes a moment of silence. The birds chirp happily while the sun shines through the trees this fine morning, making me sick to my stomach at the thought of the world being happy when something this tragic has happened.

The crowd disperses after giving the Newman family a warm and tearful apology for their loss and then they head towards their vehicles. Once I am in front of the Newman's with Kenzie, Lilly and Cole by my side, I give them a sad smile and nod, not feeling like talking.

"I'm sorry that you lost him, too, Eleanor. He always loved you and it breaks my heart that he-" Mrs. Newman tears up and waves her hand in front of her face.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Mrs. Newman..." I murmur and she nods.

I give Mr. Newman a firm handshake and he sucks in a breath and gives me a stiff nod. "I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Newman."