My Pregnancy Journey - completed

Chapter Two - London!

As I'm still recounting the past, this chapter will be in normal font until it changes! Because this happened almost three years ago, I can't exactly remember everything so things such as times might not be accurate! BTW this is going to get a bit worse before it gets better! P.S. My partner Andy's sister - her name is not going to be revealed it will stay unknown.

A couple of weeks passed and the trip to London to meet Andy's sister in person came around. We got up, had breakfast and got ready really early. Our coach was leaving for London at 9:00. Over the last couple of weeks, we packed our suitcases and a couple of bags. I had bought us a puzzle book each and a book for me to read. After three hours on the coach, we pulled into Queensgate shopping complex for a toilet break. The queue for the toilet was long, so Andy took us up across the bridge over the bus station before we took a lift down to the basement of the multi-storey carpark. He knew that there were more toilets down there, so that it would be less busy. I only had to wait a couple of minutes after using the toilet, before Andy reappeared. We bought some sweets on our way back to the coach to share. Waiting with everyone else, the coach driver made sure we were all there and that no-one was missing before allowing us all to get back on the coach.  We found our places on the coach and sat back in our seats. The coach departed and made it's way towards London.

Two and a half hours later, Andy nudged me and pointed out of the coaches windscreen at the signs we were passing under. "Look. We are in London now". My eyes grew wide with excitement. As we entered London and went round Marble Arch, we passed a huge and I mean HUGE building which was Primark.  I thought I'm going to have go look in there. We also went past the side of Buckingham Palace. No, we didn't pass the front at all. You don't go past the front, as you enter Central London. Eventually after following the traffic, we pulled into London Victoria Coach Station.  We collected our belongings and got off the coach. We waited while the coach driver unloaded our luggage from the luggage compartment, then we walked inside the coach station. We sat down and Andy phoned his sister to let her know we had arrived in London. They chatted for about another five minutes then he ended the call and put his phone away.

"We have to go to East Croydon station and my sister will pick us up in her car from there." Andy told me, as I was looking at him curiously.

"Okay. How do we get there?" I questioned him. 

"I'll show you. Follow me".

We had to get the train from Victoria train station to East Croydon Station. As we got off, we followed a huge sign that read 'Exit'. So we followed it. But something in my gut was telling me we were going in the wrong direction! Of course we were! We ended up walking down the side of the train station to get round to the front. I have to tell you it was a very long walk, although  it wasn't long before Andy's sister appeared into view. She took our suitcases and loaded them into the boot, whilst chatting to us about Oyster Cards and how to use them and how they worked if we wanted to go visit other areas of London. 

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While we were away in London, someone I 'used' to be friends with at school, messaged me calling me a liar. I tried to tell her I wasn't lying but she decided to believe her own idiocy over someone she'd known for years. But her accusing me like that was like a punch to the stomach, not just one punch though it was like she was there repeatedly punching me over and over in the stomach! I was angry, in fact angry was understatement. I blocked her and tried my best to forget all about her but even now that is difficult. I tried to enjoy the rest of the trip, I couldn't though. I just felt hurt. Once a week had passed, we once again packed up all our stuff and headed for the train back to Victoria Coach Station. Then we boarded the coach back to Skegness. Many friends had been told and tried to console us and comfort us, but it was no use. We just felt angry with ourselves. We kept blaming ourselves. Had it been something we'd done wrong? I can recall the midwife saying "It's not your fault. It's just your body's way of saying I can't deal with this. It's your body's way of rejecting an unidentified object" That bit made me angry! Unidentified object? Unidentified object? It was the start of a human being not a bloody imaginary object! How dare she? But I knew she was just trying to reassure me. 

*Two months later*

Waking up one morning, I tasted a metallic taste in my mouth. Eww I thought to myself. I woke my fiancé up and said to him " I have a metallic taste in my mouth. I searched the symptoms of pregnancy last night and I have a few that match the symptoms of pregnancy." Groggily, he replied "Okay, well if you want to get a pregnancy test then we will get one." But instead of rushing out straight away to buy one, we ate breakfast. Then we showered and got dressed. One of our friends was living in a flat upstairs, but instead of waking him we left him too it. This was personal. Between me and Andy. So we locked our door behind us and made our way downstairs and out the front door. Of course that door locked automatically. We interlaced our fingers so that we were holding hands and walked slowly into town.

"We have to get the Clearblue test this time," I told Andy quietly, so as not to let people passing us earwig on our conversation. "Okay." was all he could say. We walked on in silence, making our way up the road towards town. See where we lived, we lived in town technically. So this made it easier for us. Reaching the end of the path, we turned right and headed for the nearby crossing. Waiting patiently but anxiously for the light to change so that we could cross, I though about the idea of being pregnant again.  We made our way across when the light changed to green.

Me and Andy walked into Boots, a local chemist, and made our way down the family planning/sexual health aisle. Looking at the choice of tests I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted one test or two so I turned to him and asked "Do we get the single pack or the double pack?" Him being a typical male replied "I don't know."

Trust him to leave it to me to decide! This is down to both of us, not just me but I guess I'll just have to make the choice myself. I reached out and picked up the box that contained two pregnancy tests. "At least if I'm not sure I can do the other one as well."  So I handed them over to him and made our way to the chemist 's checkout to pay for them. Andy pulled out his wallet, handed over  a £20 note and waited for her to hand over the change. On the way home, my thoughts kept flicking between questions. Will it be negative? Will it be positive? Am I pregnant?  Am I imagining it all?