Chapter Nineteen: This is My Life Now

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I decided I would sweet talk my way in with Ava, which included making dinner for her and having wine ready. Alcohol and food was always the way to her heart. I had just had to wait for her to get back from work. Ava and I had known each for a while now and we had barely fought. Sometimes we fought over clothes, over leaving things around the house, or when I wouldn't go out and she wanted to. They were all petty fights though, things we got over quickly. I didn't want this to turn into a fight though or have to lie to her about anything. Maybe now I had sorted out my situation I can finally be more present again.

"Oh god, is that my curry I smell?"

Of course I made sure to make her favourite food, I wasn't going to win her over with cheese toasties. She came into the kitchen still in her work clothes, looking exhausted, I knew she hated the night shift and it always showed.

"I thought I would treat you," I informed her as I walked over to hand her the glass of wine I had ready and she took it, looking at me a little suspiciously as she did. "And...maybe to talk."

"Ah, so you're trying to butter me to tell me what you didn't want to tell me earlier?" Ava guessed. "And yes I could tell you were avoiding the subject this morning."

"Yes, okay, you got me," I admitted. "Get changed first and I'll put this out on the table and we'll talk there."

Ava gladly followed my instructions, as she wanted nothing more than to get out of her uniform. I served up dinner, and set up the dining table for us, which was usually something we didn't bother using for eating, more storage, but tonight it felt appropriate.

"Hmmm, damn this taste good. You've gotten better at cooking," Ava commented, chewing away.

"I'm glad you think so, but what you didn't see was I burnt the first batch of rice," I told her.

She laughed at me. I had a bad run with cooking and tended to just cook the simple things as I could definitely burn something down easily. "Okay, okay, so what exactly is it you need to tell me? Is it about Clarke?"

I hesitated before answering, taking a sip of my wine before I spoke, reminding myself that she would definitely understand.

"I wasn't completely truthful about staying the night at his place," I admitted. "I mean I did stay...but in his bed...after we...well slept together again."

I waited for Ava's reaction but she was surprisingly calm. "I had feeling when you mentioned staying there this morning. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I was afraid," I said, bitting my lip. "I know you're big on relationships and love and so I figured you wouldn't love the idea of me just having casual sex...especially with Clarke. Cause, well we've also made a deal to keep having sex...but jut sex no relationship."

That perked Ava's interest and it definitely wasn't what she expected me to say at the point, but who can blame her? I just told her I was having casual sex with my boss.

"So, like friends with benefits?" Ava asked slowly, gathering herself slightly.

"Yeah, I guess, expect I wouldn't say we're friend. Even though we do get along now though," I mused. "I was just a little worried you would think I was...insane."

"Well, you are insane, you got that right," Ava nodded, pointing her fork at me. "However, that does not mean I'm going to ridicule you. Do I think it's a good idea? No...I think he's your boss and it could back fire and I think you deserve better, but I also want you to just be happy and if this is what makes you happy then I'm fine with it."

"You think I deserve better?" I asked interested.

"I just think you deserve a relationship where you can talk about your problems and be looked after," Ava shrugged, like it wasn't a big deal. 

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