All Those Words

Chapter 18

Asa

In December, Calysta gets her reply letter from Florida State accepting her into their university. She's almost as ecstatic as I am despite her ambivalence and everyone can see it. So her parents tell her that they can hold fort without her while she studies and to come back during holidays. She's still torn about it but she agrees to make them happy. I, on the other hand, am still trying to keep my GPA up so I can manage to get a scholarship so I don't have to use all of the money Mrs. Falkoff gave me or accept anything from the Harmons.

It's now our Christmas vacation and the little kids are more than excited to put up a Christmas tree, get gifts for one another and write letters to Santa Claus. And even though I'm not used to celebrations, I try to partake in the festivities. I help with the tree because the family does it together, carrying the youngest one to put the glittering star on the top. I help Calysta wrap gifts for everyone and stack them under the tree. I even help her bake various holiday goodies because I really am good in the kitchen even though she doesn't believe me. I grew up cooking food for myself when my parents weren't around and then for my siblings when our foster parents were too busy to acknowledge our existence or just didn't care. And she knows this so maybe she just doesn't want me to do anything.

"Is this the first Christmas you're celebrating?" Trixie asks me as we hang up decorations around the house.

"Maybe," I answer cryptically. "Why?"

"Because you're hanging mistletoe on the fireplace and no one's about to bend down that low to kiss someone," she tells me with a laugh. "The point is to stand under the mistletoe and kiss the person who's under it with you."

I feel my cheeks heat up as she laughs, taking the so-called mistletoe off the fireplace to hang it somewhere higher. I probably should have known that even though I haven't celebrated a lot of holidays.

When I turn around Calysta is standing in front of me, smiling brightly and holding up a tray of festive cookies. She offers me one and I show her that I'm holding too many decorations so she shifts the tray to one hand and picks one up, bringing it to my lips. I look around quickly and see that the younger kids are watching television, Trixie has her back turned to us and the adults are still upstairs. I part my lips and she puts the cookie in my mouth. It's still warm, sweet and practically melts on my tongue. I'm about to swallow and tell her how amazing it is when the doorbell rings and everyone's attention goes to it.

"Did you invite some friends over?" Calysta asks Trixie and she shakes her head no. "Then who can it be?"

When she goes to keep the tray back in the kitchen, Trixie opens the door, letting in a gush of cold wind. She shivers and steps aside and I notice a woman who I've never seen before standing at the door. She's of medium height with long dark hair and brown eyes with gold specs which light them up. She looks at Trixie as if she's analyzing her and then her eyes meet mine but when Calysta walks back into the living room, her eyes focus on her and tears moisten her eyes.

"Carmen," she says, her eyes still on Calysta.

"I'm sorry but there's no one with that name who lives here," Trixie tells her but it falls on deaf ears.

The woman steps inside the house and suddenly we're on high alert at the stranger who just entered the house, calling for someone who doesn't live with us.

"Mom! Dad!" Trixie calls, her voice loud and panicked.

"Carmen," the lady repeats and makes her way to Calysta, takes her hands in hers and starts weeping.

I don't know what to do so I grab Calysta by the shoulder and pull her away from the stranger, holding her behind me to shield her away. The younger kids rush to Trixie's side, huddling near the door as if they'd make a run for it if things went south. It actually makes me feel proud because that would be the smartest thing to do.

The lady starts crying harder and I'm about to start freaking out as much as the other kids when we hear footsteps pounding down the stairs. Mr. and Mrs. Harmon come into view, worry consuming their expression until they see the woman and Mr. Harmon's expression changes to something that I can't place. It looks like a mix of surprise and anger but what do I know?

"What're you doing here, Kristen?" he asks and the lady turns to look at him.

Her eyes settle on his and I notice a spark of recognition before she takes a step back as if she can't believe her eyes. I continue to shield Calysta behind me but the other kids settle when Mr. Harmon makes it clear that he knows this woman.

"I came here for my daughter," she says, her tears suddenly dry. "I heard that you had her."

I feel everything still around me and I even feel it when Calysta goes rigid behind me. She's still holding a fistful of my sweater and I feel her shake after a few seconds. I wonder whether she's crying because it feels like she is but I'm too scared to turn around and check. I'm so confused by the woman's words but I know she means Calysta when she said the word daughter. I can tell because I finally see the similarities – the gold specs in the eyes, their straight noses and high cheek bones and their body structure.

"Kids, go to your rooms," he tells us and I hear shuffling as everyone rushes up the stairs despite their curiosity. "You too, Asa. Callie, go wait with him."

"Callie?" the lady – Kristen – asks. "Is that what Vance named her?"

Now I'm more confused because I don't know who the hell Vance is. Where are all these names coming from? Who are these people? Carmen? Kristen? Vance? What?

"Asa, what're you doing?" Mr. Harmon turns to me. "Take her upstairs right now!" He almost yells his last words and we both flinch.

I grab Calysta by the arm and rush her past everyone but I can tell that she doesn't want to leave. She's confused and I can see the pain in her eyes. And when we reach upstairs we find Lennon and Trixie sitting on top of the stairs, listening. Trixie holds a finger to her lips and I'm stuck between telling them to go to their rooms or sitting down with them because I want to know what's going on, too.

That's when I notice the tears in Calysta's eyes and she doesn't look confused anymore. She just looks heartbroken. She doesn't say anything to Trixie and Lennon even though I know she wants to. Instead, she jumps over them and rushes up to her room. I look and Trixie and Lennon but they don't budge. Apparently their curiosity is more important than anything else.

So I run behind Calysta because I don't know what else I'm supposed to do other than listen to her parents. If they really are her parents.