All Those Words

Chapter 3

Calysta

Waking up on Monday morning feels like a nightmare waiting to begin. I am not ready for it. Actually, nothing on earth can prepare me for it.

Through junior high – well, before my life was turned upside down – I always wondered what it would feel like to be in my senior year of high school. I imagined it, too, but what I imagined turned out to be the complete opposite of what my reality truly is. I imagined Sydney and I walking together, sneaking glances at cute boys, maybe dating the hottest guys at school because let's face it, both of our faces had been in the hot side of the hot or not article in the school's infamous newsletter. I imagined us both eating lunch at the cool table surrounded by friends, skipping classes, going to the coolest parties; having the time of our lives. Truth was, all those things did come true, exactly how I dreamed them. Problem was they happened for Sydney but not for me. I now see how stupid it was for me to dream of such things.

Seven long minutes had kicked me to the bottom of the food chain with no friends and no table to sit at for lunch. There isn't a single person who'd invite me to a party and why would they? I can't even answer a question in class without having a panic attack. Even the so-called nerds and misfits don't want to have anything to do with me.

"Calysta, are you listening to me?" Trixie snaps and my eyes settle on hers. "God, you're so weird. Stop spacing out."

"'Morning, Cal." Lennon strolls into the kitchen and climbs onto one of the bar stools, pouring sugar coated cereal into a bowl.

"Here." I drop a paper bag with her lunch in front of her and she thanked me with her mouth full. 

"Mom's dropping Yuna day care," Trixie said, her voice filled with annoyance. She makes it obvious that she hates repeating her words when I zone out. "So we don't have to do it."

"Okay," I tell her, popping my morning pill in my mouth. "Did you take your pill-"

"Shut up," she snaps, cutting me off as Asa enters the kitchen.

Her anger and annoyance so early in the morning only proves that she hasn't taken her pills but I don't say anything. Who am I to tell her what's good for her, right? If she wants to stabilize her mood, she'll take them.

"Hey." He stifles a yawn, taking a seat next to Lennon.

It's obvious that he's already gotten used to the house but I'm not sure whether he's used to how many people are living in it. Either way it seems like he finds it easy to settle into new environments which instantly makes me feel bad. It only means that he's been moving around in the foster system too many times.

"Want some?" Lennon asks him, shaking the cereal box.

"No," he looks at her as if she's crazy. "Who eats so much sugar in the morning?"

"Says the one who ate four waffles last morning," Trixie rolls her eyes and I feel momentarily upset that I had skipped breakfast the day before. Waffles are my favorite.

"Minor details," he deadpans as I slip him a cup of coffee that I'm not allowed to drink. "Thanks," he says to me but I'm busy packing a snack for Shale, which he grabs with his chubby fingers as soon as I hand it to him.

I know how much he loves the snacks I pack for him, especially when I put in small notes in the bag. He once told me that it makes him feel special even though the other kids talk about him not having his real parents around.

"Come on, let's go," I tell him, carrying him to the car with everyone else trailing after me.

"Shotgun!" Asa hollers as I secure the seatbelt over Shale in the backseat.