Understanding Self-Harm

Triggering

  (If you message me on twitter I will always try my best to get back and help you, my @ is k_newborough)  

Triggering. Oh boy. 

For anyone who has faced some kind of trauma you can understand how negative being triggered is. For people who don't understand what is it, it is essentially like when you smell something and it reminds you of a memory.
However, if you self harm being triggered is a very difficult situation; I've got to be very careful writing this because I don't want to trigger anyone myself, but it means that you've been reminded of exactly why you self harm, how it feels, why you want to and your mind is completely infested with thoughts about self harm. Nothing else is conceivable to you, you cannot think outside of that mind frame and it's dangerous. Really dangerous. 

You've got to understand that any trigger is valid and you shouldn't nullify it nor be ashamed of what triggered you, if anything in particular even triggered you. No matter what it is, whether it be a sight or smell or a word or an emotion or even silence if it makes you feel urges to self harm you need to be able to understand how to rectify yourself to a state of mind that is rational and free of urges. 

Firstly, you need to understand why you get triggered so you can acknowledge and prepare for red flag situations. A huge part in recovery is reducing the impact of your triggers by understanding the cause and considering solutions. 
This is extremely difficult to do but you need to try and consider what makes you want to self harm and the cause of that becoming a solution. Whether it's abuse, depression, being bullied, body issues, family problems, whatever it is, you need to identify that as a root of your problem. From there you're able to consider what situations may remind you of those things, what can happen in your everyday life that may trigger you because they're related to your root cause. Then you can prepare a little bit before you go into potentially triggering situations, like seeing family members or being around people who bully you.

It's not as simple as this all the time though, unfortunately. I know from experience that looking at a pencil sharpener can be potentially triggering and sometimes I'm forced to be in an uncomfortable situation like hearing a discussion about something that triggers me. You never truly can 100% anticipate every trigger because sometimes they straight up just don't make sense or are unavoidable. 

This brings us to the brute fact that as self harmers we can't just go our whole lives being careful of never having to face our fears head on, we can't hide from it forever. For example, as a survivor of sexual assault I know I can't avoid hearing the word 'rape' ever again even if it does trigger me. You can't let yourself be scared of having to fix it, you can't be scared. This is why you must have the courage to look deep within yourself and find the strength to tackle your fears of being put in a situation where you might want to self harm. Because you CAN do it.

Something vital in dealing with feeling triggered is learning coping mechanisms, and there are many. If you are able to acknowledge that you are being triggered, you can try to think "Okay, how do I sort this out". This is different for everyone. 
A couple of techniques that work for me are:-
Naming things that I can see, feel, hear, smell and taste.
Telling someone and having them either tell me something completely normal like their plans tomorrow or a story 
Talking out loud about something that makes me happy
Breathing exercises
These are just a few of many, and it's essential that you're not afraid to try things out that basically get you outside your own head space and/or calm you down. When you're triggered you're most likely not able to think rationally, so always try and have someone you trust look out for you so they can help you out or just keep an eye on you.

For people assisting people who are triggered, it can be a daunting situation that seems dramatic or even crazy. Please try and understand that the person who is triggered is likely very irrational and consumed in a very negative place, so try and stay calm and be patient. It's very similar to helping someone with a panic attack, it's best to try and calm them down until they're able to give you some direction to how you can help them. If you feel unable to help them, then you may want to consider asking them if they want to talk to anyone in particular but always try and avoid leaving them on their own even if you have to get a teacher/manager/parent involved.

Overall an important note to take away is that whilst triggering is extremely difficult to cope with, you are able to overcome it. With recovery it's not that these triggers will go away completely but you will be able to deal with them better if you really work on it and take on your fears head on.