The Girl With The Blue Hoodie

Chapter 6

© Copyright 2012 by C.A.B.

Author's Note: This was a bit of a rush chapter...I'm sorry. D:

~C

The bell rung to signal the end of 1st period. The eager beaver 9th graders in Mr. Keller's classroom nearly busted a shoulder trying to beat each other to the crowded doorway. The doorway scene was actually pretty laughable. To me, it reminded me of a sterotypical mosh pit at Vans Warped Tour; silly-looking, full of anxious and eager figures, and of course...deadly. This is why I was always the last one to leave. I so didn't want to end up in the hospital every day because of passing period. I wondered if anyone up there was claustrophobic. Gosh, if someone was, I'd feel so sorry for their poor little butt. Now that I think about it, I wonder what it would be like being deathly afraid of small, enclosed spaces. Would I feel like a caged animal or like a suffocated victim or something?

While I was musing over that idea, I accidentally locked eyes with Lydia. Gulp. I felt the guilt flowing aimlessly through my veins all over. This period had been so awkward. After my unintentional sort-of "rant", it's been nothing but the looks of betrayal she'd flash me and my inability to focus on Mr. Keller's lessons. Dang, I bet my lack of concentration beat Chandler's eye-grope session with Mr. Keller's pants in the "Worst Students Contest". I didn't like making people upset. I really didn't. It provided my heart with a shot of pain, and it bothered me everywhere I went. Seeing the person's facial expression wasn't any better. It made me feel even more overwhelmed when I saw how differently they would behave because of something caused by me or even someone else. I had a Master's degree in telling the difference between a fake smile and a real smile, and luckily, Lydia's face was an easy book to read. Her hazel eyes bore into mine, and I saw her smile sadly at me and walk out of the classroom in a drowsy, sad looking manner. I felt my heart sigh as I started to leave, too. I really hope I could make amends with her. Lydia was one of the last people in the whole damn world I'd want to make upset. We had our differences, but like I've said before, she'll always be a part of who I am whether I like it or not.

I began a fast paced walk to Choir. Believe it or not, music was a part of me as well. I loved and will always love to sing, but I don't love singing for the typical reason everyone loves singing.

Most people enjoy singing simply because they are good at it and/or because they had a gorgeous, lovely voice that caused the dead to rise from their graves and sing along. That wasn't my reason. Music, like writing, art, and fashion (I'll save that for another day, okay?), gave me another way to express myself indirectly. I honestly didn't like just telling people straight-up about my problems. I didn't like yelling at people, either. That's not my usual approach to my emotions. Instead, I liked to "state my problems and emotions" by, let's say, writing poetry relevant to it or singing a song about it, etc., etc. These pastimes gave me a reason to speak out; to get  rid of all the bothersome thoughts and ideas lurking inside my mind and my heart.

But don't worry. I don't just enjoy doing these things just to get rid of all my feelings...they're fun to do, too! I continued my long walk to Choir and made it just in time to hear the bell scream its irritating scream. Wow, they really need to change the way it rings. Fuck, if it was any louder, most of the people inhabiting this building would be deaf. Smiling at my choir friends in the back row, I hurried to my seat.

Mrs. Winn, the choir director, pranced into the room (like, literally pranced), her short brown ponytail swishing back and forth at the top of her angular shaped head and turned to face us. "Good morning, guys!" she squealed in her high-pitched with a tint of peppy cheerleader voice. "We're gonna be practicing our sight reading the whole class period, so grab a book and a few friends, and let's get to it!" Hmm, I wonder if Mrs. Winn was a cheerleader back in her high school days...the way she's always excited about everything and anything was slightly scary. The world could blow up because of a time bomb, and she'd be throwing a party in heaven. Sometimes, I was a bit worried for people's health...