Living with the Millers

Chapter 22 - In the Wake

Chapter 22 - In the Wake

I woke up to a sour taste in my mouth. Without even opening my eyes I knew the sun would make my head throb, and I was immediately overcome with the urge to vomit. For a moment I laid there, ready to fall back asleep, before the events of the previous night flooded my memory. I sat straight up, a pain shooting through my back that made me cry out in pain.

"Shiloh," a deep voice said, and all of a sudden he was by my side. I flinched when he touched my hand even though I instantly recognized his voice. "Hey, it's okay. It's me, Ben."

"I know," I said, slowly looking up at him. I was in my room, although I had no idea how I had gotten there. I looked around, half expecting to find the haunting trees still towering over me, Marks' hands still touching me...I shivered. "What the hell happened?"

Anger flashed through his eyes. "That piece of shit...He tried to..."

"But he didn't...?" It came out as a question, because truthfully, I wasn't sure. My whole body hurt, but I wasn't sure if that was from getting so drunk or from the...attack. I remembered him touching me, running his hands everywhere, but after that, things got a bit blurry. My head felt like it had been run over by a truck.

"I don't think so, no," Ben gulped, slowly sitting next to me on the bed. I scooted over a little, wishing he wouldn't touch me. This was Ben and he made me feel safe, and yet in that moment I did not want to be touched ever again. "When I caught him, he had his hand..." He trailed off, looking at his hands. "I kicked his ass, I wasn't even sure he was still alive...Jeremy found us and pulled me off of him...I didn't know what you would want me to do, if I should call the cops or my parents or...I snuck you up here until you could decide what you wanted to do." His eyes looked soft, filled with pity and confusion.

"Thank you," I whispered, pulling my legs up to my chest. That, at least, I was grateful for. I felt dirty, used...stupid. "I-I don't think I want anyone to know about this."

"But Shi-"

"I said no one!" I snapped, jumping to my feet. I crossed my arms across my chest in an attempt to cover my body. "I was stupid, I got way too drunk-"

"That doesn't mean you were asking for it," Ben exclaimed, "Don't you dare tell yourself this is your fault. He tried to rape you!"

I flinched at his words, swallowing hard. "If I hadn't drank so much-"

"He put something in your drink," Ben growled, making fists with his hands. It looked like he wanted to punch something. "When he brought that vodka, he didn't want Rylin to drink it. I don't have proof, but I think-"

"I don't care," hearing about it made my skin crawl. All I wanted to do was forget anything ever happened. In fact, I really wished I could go back in time and do the whole night over. "If I had just gone home and gone to sleep, none of this would have happened. It's my fault. All I want to do is take a hot shower and forget anything ever happened."

"I really don't think-"

"Enough, Ben!" I screamed, throwing my hands in the air. "You waited to hear what I wanted to do for a reason. Now you have to respect my decision and leave me the hell alone." Without another word I turned on my heels and practically ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. Fighting tears, I tugged off my dirty clothing and threw them straight into the trash can. I didn't want anything to remind me of that night ever again.

When I stood under the water it was so hot it burned my skin, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Every time I closed my eyes I could feel Marks' hands running down my arms, across my chest, down my stomach...I gritted my teeth and turned the water even hotter, hissing as it turned my skin bright red. The tears that slowly mixed in with the running water were unintentional, and yet I couldn't stop them. Slowly, I let myself fall to the shower floor and sobbed, praying no one could hear me.