One of us - Nichorello

11. Alone with regret

<Lorna's POV>

Due to our chemistry project, Nicky and I had spent a lot of time together. Sometimes she would call me in the evening to ask about some homework, which clearly was an excuse since she never did them. In the end, we would be talking until 3 in the morning, laughing about silly jokes that nobody else would ever laugh about.

Currently, we were standing on the tribune with Alex, talking about the cheerleading team. Today was the big day. The election of our team captain. Normally the team already knew who was going to be team captain; this year Brittney and I had to compete against each other. This competition had already ruined our friendship and it was about to test my friendships with other teammates as well. I was starting to doubt myself, wondering if I hadn't already sacrificed too much.

I was biting my lip, a habit of mine, expressing my nervousness. The eyes of Brittney were fixated on me as if she was about to jump at me any minute.
"You excited?" Vause, who had turned out to be a really good friend, asked me.
"Yeah, a bit."
That was a lie, but I wasn't courageous enough to tell them the truth. My body felt like it was burning, bursting up in flames, the smoke filling my lungs, making it impossible to breathe.
"Don't worry, kid. You'll be great." Nicky's eyes were filled with honesty and proudness as she paused "You're going to do great."
She tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and smiled at me. Only Nicky could make my sorrows and worries go away with one smile.
Nicky excused herself and left me and Vause alone.
„Be good to her, she's rare" she said to me, her eyes filled with honesty.
I know, I thought. She really is a unique person.
With that I headed towards the cheerleaders, knowing exactly what I wanted.
„Great, Lorna is here. Then we can start with the competition." Liza stated loudly so that everyone paid attention.
"Um actually. I don't think that is necessary. I'm sure that Brittney is going to make a great team captain." I smiled at Brittney, hoping that we could finally be friends again.
Unluckily, I couldn't have been more wrong about that assumption.
"So you are afraid of losing?" She laughed, some of the other girls joining in too. A few months ago, I would have bitched back, but I turned around to Nicky, who was smiling at me encouragingly, and I knew that I didn't need anything besides that smile to keep me happy.
"I realized that you want this position much more than I do."
I turned around, not waiting for Brittney to respond because I knew that talking to her wouldn't change anything.

"What happened?" Nicky asked.
"I declined"
A smirk spread over Nicky's face and she pulled me into a hug. She didn't say anything, she didn't ask questions, she didn't judge my actions, she just wrapped her arms around me, and there was no place in the world where I'd rather be.

——————
"What were you doing with that fucking junkie?" Christopher yelled at me. His voice was so loud, that others caught attention and where now gathering around us. In school, he wouldn't hurt me, at least not in front of all these people. But when I would be alone with him, I would have to sacrifice for the love I felt towards Nicky.
"Yeah, he is right. Why have you been hanging out with those addicts lately?" Liza started to question my loyalty too.
"They're my friends. So what?"
"Don't you see that they have a bad influence on you? You just lost the election!" Liza was screaming at me in the meantime.
"Wow. That was my own decision, it had nothing to do with either Nicky or Alex."

The truth was it had been Nicky, the reason for everything was Nicky. She made me see the world clearer, she had made me realize how unimportant this election was. Since I know her I have changed, I know that, but in my opinion, she changed me for the better.

"Did you smoke any drugs?" Brittney asked suddenly.
"What no! Of course not!" I yelled back.
"You know the rules. If you do, you're off the team"
„Are you guys serious right now?" I was shocked. These cheerleaders were supposed to be my friends, my family. Right now, they seemed to be rather bullies than friends.

„She is right. Did they force you into doing stuff?" Christopher started to question me too.
„What do you mean with stuff?"
„Drugs? Weed? Cocaine? Who knows, I even heard they are gay!" Christopher was standing so close that I could hear his breath.
„So what? You're afraid that I'm going to do something gay?"
I felt guilty saying those words, but my anger had taken control of me.
„We're just worried about you." Piper took my hands, stroking them gently. „They are not good people, we know that and you do too."

„You're right, they aren't good people. They're great people." I turned around, not wanting to listen to any of their opinions anymore. I knew exactly what this was about. They weren't protective or worried about me, it was their own interest talking. Brittney, she was practically praying for any reason to kick me off of the cheerleading team. Piper, who was still mad at Alex, was just jealous of me being friends with them. And Christopher?! I didn't really know his motives, but the way he talked about Nicky was enough to put me in rage.

—————
„What went on there?" Nicky asked.
"Nothing" I didn't want to talk to Nicky about it, worried that she would confront Christopher.
"Lorna, wait!" Christopher's loud voice pulled me out of my thoughts. „Let's talk, please"
"Should I stay?" Nicky looked at me, afraid that I was going to get hurt. 
„No, it's fine."
"Okay, see you later kid" she paused shortly, hesitating whether to really leave me alone.
"What's up?" I asked my boyfriend.
"Seriously. What are you doing with them all the time?"                                                                 "She is my chemistry partner."
"I asked for the truth" he yelled at me.
"That's true! She really is." I whispered afraid that he would hurt me again.
"I'll ask you one more time. The next time, I won't be this friendly." He stepped forward, pushing me against the wall.
"I already told you everything" I gasped for air as he pressed his lip on my neck, biting into it, leaving marks all over my skin. I squeezed my eyes shut, concentrating on my breath, picturing how I got into this mess. How things would have turned out if I hadn't agreed to go on that date with him.

<flashback>

My books were piled up in my arms, so high that I could barely see where I was going. Trying to unlock the door, I bumped into someone, dropping all my books, which now are scattered all across the floor. Angrily I looked up, facing a handsome, blonde guy, wearing a football jersey.
"I'm so sorry" I mumbled.
"No, it was my fault." he smiled at me.
"I'm Christopher by the way."
"I'm Lorna"

I thought I was in love with him at that time, this innocent, nice guy. Now, I knew it was a mask he was wearing, underneath a heartless person.

<back to reality>

I turned around, hoping to catch a glimpse of her ginger hair. Moments like these were the best when I would look at her and she would already be staring. She smiled at me and held the stare, a few seconds later she made grimaces, causing me to chuckle. As I looked back at her, her smile had faded. Instead, she looked sad, even hurt. Her eyes were fixated on my neck, where Christopher had left a red bruise. Although he had bitten me, the mark looked like a hickey. Nicky turned around, facing the front again, leaving me alone with regret.