IX. NIGHT

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MEGHAN USED TO sit by the living room window of our apartment after our father left. She would stare out of that window, watching the air above the steaming pavement ripple in the Georgia heat, just waiting for him to come back. All day she would sit there.

I never sat with her. I wasn't like her, because I knew in my heart that he was never coming back. I sat by that window when no one else was around to see me. While Meghan watched the ground during the day, I watched the sky at night.

All night long I sat by that window in the living room, seeing the stars glitter in the changing colors of the sky. Though sometimes the light pollution made it hard to see, it was completely breathtaking. Every morning there would be a new, dazzling sunrise that was hand painted just for me.

Ever since I was little, I had trouble sleeping. Whenever the lights went out, my mind tended to wander to far off places. It never seemed satisfied with my everyday life, so whenever I had time to sleep, my brain decided to escape for a while instead, exploring everywhere except the depths of slumber. Barely sleeping never bothered me though, for I was drawn to the night sky.

I sometimes like to think back to those days before my life fell apart, to the days when I would stare out the window and find comfort in watching the stars dance across the great inked canvas. Last night, though, watching the shimmering dots move across the sky did not fill my chest up with excitement. I did not feel free.

Last night I didn't sleep, not even a wink, which is something I need to start getting used to again. For the past five months or so, I slept soundly because I was calmed by the way my body would curl comfortably around my baby, protecting her from the outside world. My mind never felt the need to wander when I had Meghan with me. Last night was the first time I didn't sleep next to her, and not even the night sky or the sunrise could make me feel better.

After my interview went terribly wrong, I was asked to go back to Aaron's home. Meghan was taken from me, even after I begged them not to separate us. Mr. Grimes promised that I could come first thing in the morning to see her again.

I did not like how that sounded at all, that I would have to come by to visit my Meghan instead of having her with me at all times, but I had no say in the matter. I was a guest in this settlement, and Meghan belonged to them. All I could do was follow Aaron out of the house, then start counting the seconds until I saw the sky change from a dark blue to a pale orange.

Beams of golden sunlight are softly starting to cut through the morning mist just above the tree line and I am already at Mr. Grimes' door. My balled hand is hovering over the thick wooden door, unmoving. I don't know whether to knock or not, I don't want to wake them up if they aren't already.

Meghan {c.g.}Where stories live. Discover now