I have vitiligo. It came on when I was seventeen and my red blood cell count dropped to a deadly level. It was 1984 and I had collasped on the gym floor of the high school. For two weeks I lay in bed thinking I had the flu. Little did I know that each day I was in bed, my hemoglobin dropped a little. At the end of the two weeks my mom realized it wasn't the flu and took me to see the doctor. He did a test that showed that my hemoglobin had dropped to 4.7. I was at death's door and didn't even know it. The doctor wanted to give me a blood transfusion right then and there but I was not having it. I was deathly afraid of needles back then. He told me I could build my blood up slowly with Prednisone. I eagerly took that deal. After a few days of taking the pills, I was starting to feel better and by a month or so, I was feeling 100 percent better. Not great but better. A year later, while still on prednisone, I started developing vitiligo on the outer edges of my eyes. I thought it was just dry skin like kids get. Wrong.
It spread slowly around all of my eyes. Complete white. I am half Mexican so I have brown skin. This white is very noticeable. I went back to my doctor and he told me it was Vitiligo and that there was no cure and even worse, it usually spreads. Great. I am not vain person, never thought I was beautiful but living with this was going to be a nightmare I thought.
I was right. The Vitiligo started when I was 18 and now I am 47, it still spreads. I notice that it spreads faster when I am stressed and I am stressed a lot lately. The Vitiligo has spread to my eyes, around my mouth, on the inside of my thighs, elbows and hands. A new spot just appeared on my left foot and I don't see the stress going away any time soon.
The transfer my husband has been waiting for fell through and we so wanted to move back to where our family is. We keep saying God has a plan for us and that's why we aren't getting the transfer we want. There is a reason why we are staying here.
I just wished we knew what that reason was. I get so upset that these new Vitiligo spots are starting to appear in different places. I am over weight because I don't have the energy to go work out. I want to so bad but most days it feels like my body is on it's last days. My mind feels young but my body is that of an 80 year old. Take that back. My mom seems to be in better shape than me and she's going on 80 years old.
I just feel like I want to have a giant tantrum, I want to kick and and I want to scream and pull my hair. I am sick of this stuff. I want to kick the walls and slug someone in the face. God I hate this!
