My husband is playing games with me, I think. When he left this morning for work. Everything was fine. I gave him a kiss and told him to be careful like I do every morning. He seemed like he was in a good mood. He didn't call me a couple of times like he usually does just to see what I am doing. I asked him if he was busy and he said yeah and I let it go at that. But other than when I directly ask him a question, he hasn't talked to me.
It really pisses me off because I didn't do anything. He'll ignore me until he wants something then when I don't feel like it because he hasn't talked to me since he's been home, I'll be the bad person. I know the game. He has been acting like a big baby lately. He has been telling me he doesn't feel my love and I don't show him enough emotionally and physically. Maybe he's talking to someone else. We've been together for twenty one years, maybe he's bored.
I am tired of this shit though. He has no compassion for what I am going through. He is diabetic. I make sure he has his medicines and go with him to the doctors when he needs to go. I am always there with him, supporting him and his illnesses. Me, on the other hand, he laughs and ridicules me at every turn. He'll always tell me, oh I forgot, your sick, or it's your sickness. He get's mad because I tend to forget things, a lot. And either I am going deaf or he is mumbling. He will say something with his mouth full and when I say what? he gets upset and comes to me and says each word slow like I have a learning disability. People shouldn't talk with food in their mouth because PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL THEY ARE SAYING. NOT MY FAULT DUMB ASS.
I am tired of walking on egg shells with this man. I love him so much but his moods are wearing on me. I know I need to be understanding but he is not understanding of me and I have enough problems trying to stay normal, to stay in focus for my kids. I don't need another kid to take care of, I have three that are a hand full.
Ahhhhhh! I just want to punch something.
