Pokemon - From the Brink

Chapter 5 - A Way In

It had been three days since the Asian squad had been put together. A week from that day, we would be leaving for the tournament, and yet, I hadn't really done any training. Anything I had tried was with low enthusiasm, and I couldn't bring myself to try for too long.

Now, I was sat at a table outside one of the local cafés in Fuchsia City. The overhanging roof provided shade, though it was still cold outside. Nelly was sat opposite me, drinking a strawberry milkshake through a black straw. I had the same, and I looked down at the pink liquid in the glass being swirled around by my own straw, circling between my fingers.

The blue scarf she had gotten me was wrapped snug around my neck, with the tail end tucked into my jacket, leaving the shorter part to sit above my chest.

I had been toying with the idea of not participating in the tournament after all. It was an opportunity to represent the whole continent, and anyone would have rightfully jumped at the chance to be in my position. And as selfish and ridiculous as it may have seemed, I was willing to throw that away. The person sitting in front of me meant more than any competition could, and I knew that there would be no way I could go and leave her behind.

I had told her as much.

"But Toby, you can't just quit..." Nelly shook her head. "Don't throw this away just for me."

"I would only be a burden to the team the way I am." I said, leaning against my hand, propped up on the table. "How could I give it my all, knowing I won't be able to see you?"

"I can still come and watch the tournament matches." She tried to sound optimistic. "You'll see me there."

"That's not what I mean..." I sat upright and looked around, embarrassed to speak too loud. I lowered my voice. "You know I can't sleep without you..."

"Well, neither can I..." She shifted. "But... You're so strong. If you left the team, they'd be losing one of the whole of Asia's best Trainers!"

"I'm not that strong." I shook my head. "Besides... There's any number of other people they could call on to take my place. Like Sol, or Ix – any of those hundreds of people who showed up back then would make better use of this opportunity than me..."

Nelly took a sip of her drink and I watched the contents of her glass shrink. "I just..." She sat back up. "Did we go wrong somewhere...?"

"What do you mean...?"

"You and I... We're not... Normal, are we?"

"Well, I don't know if anyone can be normal..." I said.

"No, I mean... The way we act. I wonder what it looks like to other people. We must look like the world's clingiest couple." She let out a pained laugh.

"...It doesn't matter what other people think." I reached out across the table and put my hand on top of hers – it was cold.

"I know." She looked up at me and smiled. "But sometimes, I can't help but worry that it does us harm sometimes... We're so dependant on each other, that when the prospect of spending time apart comes up, we try and refuse it outright... If there are experiences that you could go and enjoy, I wouldn't want to be the one holding you back all the time..."

She was reflecting, like I had when I had been babysitting alone, on our relationship and how it affected us. I had questioned whether or not my dependency on her was a bad thing, and it seemed she was going through similar thoughts.

"But... What would be the point of experiences like that if I didn't get to share them with you?" I countered. "I know that life is full of opportunities that you get more from if you say 'yes' rather than 'no'..." I paused, thinking about how I had been a hypocrite in that sense several times. "But there is no circumstance where I would rather go off chasing some opportunity or experience alone than stay safely with you. I'm not brave." I squeezed her hand. "I'm a coward... The only reason I'm able to do half of the things I do is because you're there. Like this-" I gestured. "I would never have come to a café alone..."