Flawless[a solangelo au short-story]

Epilogue: Will Solace, the downer at the funeral.

Today was the day Will was dreading...

He hardly slept at all the night before, his hair was a mess, he looked pale, he was shaky with dark circles under his eyes. It sort of surprised him he'd made it the few weeks after Nico's death.

He missed Nico.

That felt so wrong to him; speaking of the boy he loves...in past tense. 

He wanted to say he misses Nico.

But couldn't. 

Today would be the day he'd probably break down in front of his family for the first time. For the first time in front of Nico's mom. For the first time in front of his family. Most of them. Except for John and Seb. Poor John often got caught in his fury and anger. Yet the kid still thought of him as his brother which made Will feel guiltiest. 

Will was so unprepared for the day he had to face. Nico's last few words, they'd come back to him-in dreams-in thoughts-or just out of the blue. 

The service would be held around noon, simple--as Nico wanted it. Will's heart throbbed when anyone brought it up. He'd snap at whoever it was, always guilty afterword. He felt like a murderer even if he knew in his heart there was nothing he could do. Looking in the mirror he'd only see a man--no, a monster. A killer. One that didn't deserve to be in love. 

Nico's death had brought the worst out of Will.  And he knew it. His eyes had trouble focusing on the black tux laid out. Will sighed and went downstairs to have probably the hardest to swallow breakfast yet.

-

 A few minutes were left.  Will had procrastinated as long as humanly possible, but he had to go. He pulled the black overcoat on, didn't glance at himself as he went downstairs to join his family. Josh, John, Seb, Kayla, and Austin would join him.

Not even his own father would come. Not that Will expected it. But he would've at the very least appreciate it. John and Kayla gave him worried glances often.

-

Here he was at the bitter end. standing there, numb as he listened to siblings of Nico's talk about a cousin they'd never even met before, right now it was a boy that looked a little older than his with jet black hair and sea green eyes. He gave this speech that Will could tell his heart wasn't into, he walked off and sat with two women, one was a blond with striking grey eyes, and the other a brunette woman well aged with soft eyes. 

Will leaned on his hands as people kept on going up. Next was another dark-haired girl that looked a bit like the last boy, she had blue streaks in her hair, which complimented her electric blue eyes. He listened to her speech for a few moments, as it sounded worth listening to. "I didn't know Nico very well..." she was saying, "but I knew about him. I knew his big sister."

Big sister? He had an older sister? 

"It was as big of a tragedy when she died than Nico's. Bianca was a lot like her brother from what I've heard. They were both kind, quick, quiet and funny. I like to think of it as...Nico's suffering ends here and he can join his sister again. Nico was a great man that didn't deserve to go-just like his sister."

Now Will was just curious about this Bianca girl, who was she? Why did Nico never mention her? Now he'd never know...

Another boy came up, he looked nothing like the last. he was blond with his hair cut short but grown out a bit. He had piercing blue eyes like the girl, like the picture perfect son, boyfriend or husband-except for the little scar on his lip and the glasses rested on his nose.

He looked shaken up and almost genuine, Will felt pity almost. 

"Nico I-I didn't get to know him l-like I should have" Will immediately tune the guy out-he knew how it would end. 

Next went Hazel, Nico's half-sister, Will had met her once. She seemed to really care about her brother. She's broken down and another boy with a baby face but quite well built took her out of the room. Will's heart ached, Hazel was one of those people you just wanted to wrap in a blanket and hug forever just to stop her from crying. 

Reyna went up next, she showed little emotion, but cared deeply. She sounded just as genuine, spoke of him like a brother just as much as Hazel. She walked off looking strained after she gave a speech about Nico --about how the cancer he had did not change him as person and he was an amazing human being to the end. 

Maria had tried to speak but broke down so fast that it was like a punch in the gut to him. 

Seb and John walked up together, holding hands, Seb spoke first, "Nico was basically my brother"

John took the mic from his boyfriend, "and he was basically my mom!" A couple younger kids giggled, while most everyone else looked pissed. John waited for the crowd to ease, his expression became softer, more serious.

 "But seriously. He was." Seb interjected. 

"Yeah. Nico di Angelo was a mom."

"But the best mom." Seb nudged John. 

"Which probably doesn't sound like much coming from two boy's that's literally never had a real mom...but, yeah. Nico was great."

Seb nodded.

"Nico was the closest thing to a mom. I probably called him mom once or twice" John admitted shyly, a few chuckles earned. "he was one of the few people I could talk to and not feel scared..." he went on, "I'm gonna try and remember Nico for everything he did-not how he went."

The blond-haired emo handed off the microphone to the dyed-haired hipster. 

Seb took it shakily and said, "not gonna lie, Nico scared the shit outta me"

Will snickered behind his hand while half the audience either looked pissed or were laughing.

"But yeah, he was great. He taught me how to shoot and stuff my pot-head dad wouldn't. He taught me how to fight but he was also there when John or I had nightmares-he was there and he didn't judge. He didn't even judge when I came out twice."

Will blinked, generally confused. 

"But yeah, Nico was the mom John and I both wanted"

"Yeah!" John concluded, Will didn't blame him, how were you supposed to follow up with a speech like that. However...it was his turn. 

-

It was after the service and everyone was paying their respects to Nico. 

Will was still shaking afterward from his speech. It went over just fine but his mind still made it a complete disaster. Will stopped shakily when it was his turn. Nico's face. He'd seen the face like that before. Peaceful smile, eyes closed, pale skin. Will knew Nico probably wouldn't appreciate how his hair had been clean and pushed back-or that he was in a completely white suit. The little box in his pocket felt heavier than ever.

He pulled out the little golden ring, it was sized just right for Nico's pediatric hands. he slipped it on Nico's left-hand ring finger and said quietly so no one would here, "I know I-I never got the chance to p-propose like I wanted to...and I'll never know if you say yes but...guess I gotta assume you would've said yes...sorry that we didn't get time like you wanted sunshine. I love you..." Will went on after leaving a bouquet of flowers, black roses and daises. Will went back to his seat and put his face in his hands, shaking, crying until he felt a hand on his shoulder and a warm sensation in his chest...

Fine~