Shoot Me Now

He's Not My Uncle

So I posted this story on my old account and then deleted it so I thought I'd post on here, enjoy :)

Chapter 1: He's Not My Uncle

"I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can't deny, that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung..."

Cough

Uh oh... I spun round on my heels to face none other than my mum, my stepdad, my sister and some 'random dude'; must I add, a very good looking 'random dude.' They were all standing at my bedroom door. My mum's eyebrow was raised and the stranger looked highly amused.

What did a girl have to do to get some privacy round here. All I wanted to do was dance around to baby got back in peace.

I sighed and walked over to switch my speakers off.

"Well mum, you caught me," I started, turning back round to face her. "You finally know my big secret. I like big butts. Just can't get enough of them," I finished, causing my mum and my step dad, Jack to shoot me disapproving looks.

I eyed the stranger leaning against the wall, a smirk playing on his face. He looked about twenty or so.

"Dorothy Eloise Jackson that is certainly not appropriate," my mum scoleded.

I scowled at the use of my full name. Why did my mum have to give me one of the most boring names in history? Why couldn't I have got given a name like... 'Spiky' or 'Robotrex'. Okay maybe not, but still, did I have to have such an old fashioned name; I was named after my great great grandmother. She's so old she probably farts out dust. Luckily when I was little, I couldn't pronounce my own name, so everyone just took to calling me Dotty instead.

"Sorry mother, I just thought that you deserved to know the truth," I explained.

Then the stranger decided to butt in. "What your daughter is trying to say is that she is a lesbian with a fetish for large female butts," he intervened, grinning mischievously at me. It took me a few seconds to actually comprehend what he had just called me. He called me a lesbian (Not that I had anything against lesbians). I mean I did go through a phase where I chopped off all my hair and refused to wear anything girly, but he didn't know that.

I heard my snoby sister snigger in the background. I glared at her plastic face then turned back to the random dude.

"Ha ha very funny," I said sarcastically. "Now can someone tell me who the hell this dude is?" I snarled, my tone, filled with hostility.

My mother's face boiled up in anger. "Dotty, don't you dare use that tone in front of a guest."

Did my mother not even care that the jerk had just insulted her daughter. I ignored her and focused on the guy, awaiting an answer. I also took the time to inspect him.

He was gorgeous with his golden blonde hair, sky blue eyes and tanned skin...

Just kidding, blonde hair and blue eyes, in my opinion, sucked.

His eyes were intense. They were a deep shade of blue rimmed with dark lashes. Messy dark red hair fell over parts of his strongly chiselled face. I also noticed numerous tattoos scattered across his arms and I was curious to examine them more closely. I was a sucker for tattoos.

Damn him for looking so good.

"Have you finished checking me out yet?"

I clenched my fists and glared daggers at his smug face. "I was not checking you out sausage face." Don't even ask where I get these names.