Perrie's POV
I stand in front of my birth morthers grave. It's bare and cracled from lack of attention. I used to come here all the time when I still lived with him. I stopped when they took me away. The headstone is very plain, just a name and a date on a piece of rock. As i look at it anger builds up in me.
"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME? DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO KILL YOURSELF? YOU WERE SO SELFISH TO HAVE LEFT ME HERE TO FEND FOR MYSELF! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE GONE THROUGH?!!" I scream at the stone until my voice goes hoarse.
I wipe the tears off my face and turn around I spot a baseball bat left out from the kids playing in the field next to the grave yard. I go and pick it up and turn it over in my hands. It's a real baseball bat, not one of those foam kid toys. Another rush of anger and power surges through me holding the baseball bat and i walk back towards the headstone of my birth mother. I lift the bat over my head and start beating the already crumbling headstone with the bat, until it completely breaks. At the sound of the top of the stone hitting the ground i drop the bat.
"Oh my god, what have i done?" I murmur to myself.
Not only have I disrespected my birth mother, but i probably broke the law and on top of that I probably have the girls worried. I'm scared of what Jesy will think. She has only ever really been mad at me twice but it's very very scary. I panic and don't know what to do. I really just want to go home, but I don't want to face the consequences of my actions. After a while of struggling with my mind I decide that the longer I take the worse it will be and start regretfully making my way home. It's further than i thought because going I just let my feet lead me where they wanted to go with no thought. Now that I'm consciously making a decistion that I know will lead to trouble, it seems to be taking forever. It's funny how these things work. My house comes into view and I slow down, tears pricking my eyes. I really don't want them to hate me. My sisters are the only family I have and I'm so scared to lose them. I realize that me running might make them think they lost me and I feel a pit of guilt in my stomach. I take a deep breath and walk up the steps and in the door. The minute I walk in I see Jade sitting on the couch with tears in her eyes, but when she sees me they light up/
"JESY, LEIGH, CALL THE POLICE AND TELL THEM TO STOP LOOKING, SHES BACK!" she shouts into the house.
I start getting scared. They called the cops? how long was I gone? I know it's getting dark but i don't exactly knwo what time i left. I thought i had been gone maybe an hour at the most. Jesy comes in first, looking extremly mad but relieved. I look down, ashamed of myself. I start to shae and mentally tell myself to stop/. I start shaking when I'm scared. it's a bad habit of mine, it lets people know when you're weak.
"And where have you been for 5 hours?" she quirks an eyebrow up.
Leigh-Anne walks into the room and sits down next to Jade. I now have a full audience waiting for me to tell them what I've been doing. I'm still shaking and even though my mind is telling me to run again I know that is the worst idea so I stay standing, looking diwn and shaking.
"Don't test me Perrie, unless you want to be grounded until you leave this house!" Jesy starts getting furious and I finally let up.
"I think I did something illegal." I whisper.
"YOU WHAT?!" Jesy and Leigh-Anne yell at the same time.
"I-I didn't mean to, a-and it all happened so fast, a-and i don't want you guys to leave me just because I'm an idoit and stupid and should have never been born. Because I love you and I'm scared. Please don't kick me out or send me back." I manage to say in one big breath.
At this point I am full on bawling and Jesy comes over to make me sit down. I continue to cry, and Jesy says I'll make myself sick, but I can't stop. Leigh and Jade come over until everyone is sitting around me trying to calm me down. I finally calm down enough to tell them what happened. I'm glad I got it off my chest but I don't want it to lead to follow up questions about my past, I don't know if I'm ready for that just yet.
"You do know you're still in trouble right? That was dangerous and reckless Perrie, we don't need to lose anyone else in this family. You are grounded for 2 weeks besides the funeral and you have to wash the dishes for two whole weeks as well." Jesy Says.
"Yeah, I kinda figured. What about the grave stone?"
"If you don't mind I would rather not bother with that. If you want I can get someone to replace it but I'm not going to turn you in. I can tell you are already guilty enough." Jesy says.
"No its okay, Thanks for not kicking me out."
"Perrie, we will get mad at you sometimes but we will never leave you. That i can guarantee!" Leigh says.
"Yeah, pinky promise." Jade adds, sticking out her pinky.
I lock my pinky with Jades and I finally feel at home.
