Accidentally In Love ~A Niam Love Story~

Chapter 18

*Zayn's POV*

I leaned against my locker, my hands deep in my pockets when the came down the hall. Hand in hand, grinning like idiots at each other. Liam laughed at something and placed a kiss on Niall's nose, whose face flushed pink. Their happiness sickened me. Liam's face fell when he saw my scowl. Niall's face drained when he noticed Liam was staring at me. His sky-blue eyes grew wide. Stupid queer. I hate you.

"Hey, Zayn," said Liam, hesitantly, stopping in front of me. Niall stood behind him, cowering from my vision. He was so terrified of me...

"Stay away from me you fucking fag," I shoved roughly past them and stormed away. I could feel the tears coming on and I cursed silently. I couldn't deal with this anymore.

Everyday I tortured myself watching them. I concealed myself in the courtyard and looked on as they held hands. Cuddled. Kissed. I was physically sick watching them. Harry and Louis were worse. They would full out snog in the middle of everything, completely oblivious to the world. They didn't care what anyone thought, they were so immersed in each other. I couldn't believe both my best friends were gay. I hated it. I hated how open they were about it.

Some bloke named Oliver came up to me and asked me what I was going to do. "Hey Zayn, so what's the plan? We gonna jump 'em or what? Give that blonde fag what he deserves, for making Liam gay and all,"

I stared at him. I made him like this. I'd brainwashed all the guys to hate anyone who was gay. "You touch even a single hair on Niall and you will regret the day you were born," I impulsively answered.

He looked at me questioningly. 

"He's mine. I'm dealing with him. Alone," I gazed back at Niall, who sat staring at Liam. His eyes were filled with love and my heart filled with hate."I'll get him, I'll get him,"

I glanced up from the book I was pretending to read and saw Liam stand up and kiss Niall goodbye. Niall watched him longingly as he walked away. It was the first time I had seen them without each other for the past week. They were inseparable, never leaving each other's side. I jumped up, brushing myself off. I was going to deal with Liam first. I'd waited long enough and he was finally away from Niall so I wouldn't get distracted. I balled my fists as I walked across the courtyard. 

"Zayn!" a voice called, ringing clear through the air. The sound reached my ears and sent shivers down my spine. I froze. No, just let me go punch Liam's face in. I couldn't face him yet. I turned and Niall stood, staring intensely at me. Those startlingly eyes were ice cold, piercing into me.

"What?" I growled through gritted teeth. He trembled, I could sense he was terrified to talk to me.

"I-I need to talk to you," he said, trying to sound confident, but it came out like a whimper. My hardened heart weakened a bit.

"I don't talk to your kind," I spat and walked away.

"Zayn!" he ran after me. I pushed the door open to the empty locker room. A wave of sulfur and sweat overtook my airway. I paced up and down the aisles, breathing hard. I hated feeling like this. I was sick of it. I wanted it to end. I needed it to end. I couldn't go on like this anymore, it was eating me away inside. I heard the door open and I stopped pacing.

"Zayn! I am trying to tell you something!" the voice yelled. He stormed over to me, his eyes shot daggers at me. Pain seared through my heart as the daggers pierced it.

"Look I know you hate me. I know you hate gay people, you're convinced we are the devil's spawn or  whatever. I don't know what the hell your problem is. I haven't ever done anything to you, yet you hate me for being myself. That I've learned to accept, I've gotten used to the pain, the harassment. I've been getting that for years. But now you hate Liam, for the same damn reason you hate me. And I know you want to beat us both to a pulp, but if you are going to hurt one of us please let it be me. Punch me, kick me, do whatever, but do it to me. Like I said, I've grown used to it. Liam hasn't. It would-it would break him. And I just can't live with that. So when you are about to attack us, just hurt me. Leave Liam alone," he ranted, out of breath from his outburst.

I couldn't believe it. He was so selfless. He didn't care if he got pummeled, as long as Liam was untouched. I just stared, unblinking at him. He began to anger at my lack of reaction.

"Nothing? You have nothing to say to me? I should be laid out on the floor bleeding for saying that and you just stand there?!" he yelled and threw his hands in the air in frustration.

I could feel it coming. All the feelings I've felt and kept inside for so long were bubbling to the surface. Like a dormant volcano waking up after a long sleep. All I needed was a spark to ignite the fire.

"Zayn!" he yelled again. I looked into his eyes. They were dark blue pools of rage. Contempt and enmity darkened his usually bright, sunny eyes like a storm cloud. I was looking at this selfless, loving boy. And he loathed me with every being in his body.

That was it. That small spark to light the fuse. I exploded. I gripped my hair tight and screamed. I screamed, giving release to everything. Frustration, anger, hate, loneliness, the heavy sadness I was burdened with, all escaped out. I kicked the wall, ignoring the shooting pain in my foot. I began to hyperventilate and I paced back and forth trying to rip my hair out. Raven black chunks came out in my hand. Niall took a step back, completely frightened. 

I stopped and rested my forehead on the cool wall, taking shaky deep breaths. My hand slipped into my pocket. I gasped slightly as my skin brushed against the cold, sharp blade. The blade that never seemed to give me the relief I needed. The blade that was never enough. I could do it. End it here. My hand gripped the handle and I pulled it out slowly. Niall gasped loudly as the fluorescent light reflected off the knife.

"Z-zayn," he whispered. I looked at him, his face paled in fear. It would be so easy to do it. It could all be over. My pain would be gone and I could finally get the relief I so yearned for. I took a step forward, never breaking eye contact with him. I raised the knife, my heart pounding. My desire for an end grew and grew until it was almost unbearable. I was going to do it.

Then I dropped the knife. It clanged against the floor, echoing off the walls. What I did next was worse, much worse.

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Intense much? I have been SO extremely excited for you guys to read this chapter. I'm quite proud of it if I do say so myself.

Thank you so much for the massive reaction this story has gotten. It is so unreal, everytime I read all your comments it just makes my day<3

I AM  OFFICIALLY A FRESHMEN NOW.

Side Notes:

Circles, we going in circles...how bout trianlges? Triangles, we going in triangles

Is sh*t gonna go down? Lemme check the forecast. Yup 100% chance of sh*t showers with a chance of HOLY POOP THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN.

I smell like imma get you pregnant, Jenna Marbles much? 

Can you fry an avacado?

Zayn Jawaad Malik, you are effing beautiful.

I'm hopelessly in love with a complete weirdo who doesn't even like me back...WHY?!

Polka dotten sock married a plaid bra and had a kid named Louise. 

3,2,1 MIND=BLOWN

It's times like this that I love writing this story.

So here's the thing, I am going away on vacation on Sunday for a week. So I will not be able to post often. At all really. So if I don't post anything next week, I didn't die. :D

Vote-Comment-Fan-Message Me-Stay Beautiful.xx

Bai Loves.xx-Paige