.:Diet Mountain Dew - Kyoya x Reader:. OHSHC

"Oh my god!!"

You ran around the corridors of Ouran High School, giving a panicked glance to every single door you passed. Twenty minutes had already passed through lunch and you still hadn't managed to find the class you had spent the last two periods in.

You never thought you could ever be so worked up trying to find the maths classroom, but you'd left one of your belongings in there and were in a rush to find it before the bell rang. You had another twenty-five minutes, but you wasted no time and had started looking five minutes after lunch began.

You suddenly ran down a familiar looking corridor, not even bothering to avert your gaze to the sign that said 'Music Room Number 3' above the classroom that you'd just burst into.

All of a sudden, you were showered with rose petals which you swatted, letting out a sneeze. Upon noticing your surroundings, you froze.

You'd just entered the pinkest room you had ever seen.

Tables were set out, adorned with all sorts of sweet foods, and a few girls bearing the same disgusting yellow dress uniform as you were sitting at each table, seeming to be entertained by young men.

"Wow. An elegant prostitution centre." you mused, crossing your arms.

"That is indeed a peculiar choice of words." A voice came from behind you and you jumped, swivelling around to face a young man with dark hair and glasses typing on a laptop.

"Hey!" you exclaimed, your eyes widening. "Do you happen to have seen a Diet Mountain Dew can in here?"

The young man's fingers paused above the keyboard and he looked up, his expression seeming to portray amusement. "No, I haven't. Why, is it important?"

"I swear to god that thing cost me half my allowance!! Especially after the vending machine ate all my change." you grumbled exasperatedly, your arms limply falling to your side.

"If the drink was of such importance, allow us to get you another one." he noted, looking back down to the laptop and resuming the quick typing. It was as if he was boasting about his typing speed. 'I can type just that fast.' you thought stubbornly, shaking your head.

"It's okay, I guess I owe you one; today I realized I'm allergic to roses, which could totally help for future complications… Involving hospitals… You know."

"No no, please allow us to pay you back." he insisted, his eyes glued to the screen.

'What polite eloquence.' you thought sarcastically, noting the lack of interest in his eyes.

"How..?"

"We could supply you a free session with one of our hosts."

"People pay for this..?" you served back sceptically, and his eyebrows raised.

"Miss, do you know where you are?" To that, you shook your head.

"Why, you're at the Host Club. A--"

"ELEGANT PLAYGROUND FOR THE SUPER-RICH AND BEAUTIFUL. SUCH AS YOU OBVIOUSLY, GRACEFUL PRINCESS." You turned around, an expression of horror painted on your face as the voice suddenly boomed out over-dramatically from behind you. It was one of those boys who had been sitting at the tables earlier. This guy especially had been flirting his ass off with every single girl in the entire room. You had to admit he sure had game.

"Allow me to introduce myself." the young blond said, getting down onto one  knee. "I am Tamaki Suoh, creator of this club."

"Oh boy, you scared me. I thought you were gonna propose."

"Is that such a bad thing?!" he exclaimed sorrowfully, rising up instantly.

"Sorry Tamagotchi.. I uh.. I'm just looking for my Diet Mountain Dew." you admitted, mildly embarrassed.

"TAMAGOTCHI?? MOUNTAIN DEW??" In a second, Tamaki had retreated to a corner of the room, crouched down. You stared on, your eye twitching slightly. "Is he okay?"

"Don't pay attention to him, he's just growing his mushrooms." The black haired youth noted, finally using his computer mouse in place of the keyboard.

"Growing his mushr--… Okay then." you resolved to momentarily ignoring the occurrence, looking back down to the young man.

"So I take it you're all 'hosts'?" you asked, to which he nodded.

"Yes. I'm Kyoya Ootori, the others are Honey, Mori, Hikaru and Kaoru, Haruhi, and I'm rather sure you'd remember Tamaki."

He pointed at them, saying their names in a flurry to which you nodded quickly, pretending to have caught all that.

"So I can pick anyone of you to have my free therapy session thingy with?"

He paused, eventually nodding curtly. "Indeed."

"Nobody in here seems rational, so I guess, POKEMON KYOYA, I CHOOSE YOU!"

He sat, unfazed at your comment, and let out a short sigh. "Very well. Please take a seat."

You sat down, placing your hands on the table and letting out a heavier sigh than he had. "Okay so I've been having these visions at night.. For some reason, I keep seeing my dead cat do the Gangnam Style on my window sill every night after closing my eyes for like, twenty minutes, and it's super disturbing. I--"
"You do realize this isn't a therapy session, right?" he cut in, pretending not to be mildly disturbed by your confession.

You frowned in confusion, pursing your lips and crossing your arms. "Oh. Um. Then what is it..?"

Kyoya eventually looked up from the screen, a light smile playing on his lips. "I'm supposed to entertain you."

"One heck of a job you're doing!" you noted, smiling broadly and he returned the sarcastic smile.

"Thank you." 

He'd never admit it, but you had game. The way you served back sarcastic remarks and seemed completely oblivious to any hardships in this world except for the loss of your Diet Mountain Dew fascinated him, and his lips curled into a smug smile and he looked up from the screen, his hands resting on either side of the laptop. 

All of a sudden, the bell rang and you stood up, an eyebrow raising. "This sure was entertainig Kyoya, all appreciated, it doesn't compensate for my Mountain Dew perfectly but maybe I'll be back." you shot him a grin, hurriedly jogging out of the room. He smiled slightly after you, shooting Tamaki a dark look as he realized he was being regarded with a questioning expression.

Then suddenly Kyoya had never asked for your name.

.:Hi readers, sorry for the what the fuck quality of this work but yoooo I needed working on my writing (obviously), and even if no one on here reads my shit it's good to have it out in the open xD For one thing, I sure hope it humored some people somewhere!:.