A knock at the door wakes stevie up and as quick as she can she bolts off his lap
"Who is it?"
"It's Lori! Let me in"
She opens the door and when Lori catches Lindsey's eyes she pauses
"Uh did I interrupt something?"
Stevie gives him a sad look and he gets up from the floor
"No, no. We were just talking"
She gives Lori a fake smile
"So what's up?"
Stevie asks
"The show is gonna start in 15 mins and I know you need a boost so I brought this"
Lori pulls a stash out of her purse.
Lindsey makes his way to the door and before it shuts he looks back and sees stevie already snorting lines.
"God am I the only one who sees her? She is not okay and they're just feeding her fucking addiction"
He thinks to himself ,as he enters the room everyone else is obviously feeding their own addictions.
It's not that no one cares for stevie, it's that they can't even help themselves or see their own problems, how could they help her?
"5 minutes! Line up!"
J.C. Yelled out and everyone who wasn't vital to the band cleared out, while everyone made there way to the "line" Lindsey lingered behind while
J.C. Dropped powder on everyone's wrists extra for mick and Stevie like usual while Lindsey declined his offer.
~~
Lindsey's POV
she's so high. I knew she was high before we took those bumps from J.C. Because Lori had "helped" her out with more. Her eyes were so black not because of her natural dark color but because her pupils were so dilated. Her songs were acceptable but you could tell she was on something because they were slurred out in many parts. fuck! If she could just get off this shit! I'm consumed with the thought of her. I have Carol nagging me day and night about it also. Why did fame have to do this to us? To her? And why can't she see what she's doing to herself?! My internal dialogue is cut short when we have a break and right after stevie makes her way behind the wings of the stage I see her legs buckle beneath her.
~~
Stevie's POV
I blacked out. I told them I was just really hot from the show and I must've had too much vodka which made everyone laugh. Mick jokingly said
"Oh nicks don't act like a lightweight on us!"
Others chimed in joking about how I couldn't handle my liquor and what not. Our 5 minute break turned into 15 minutes and I knew I had to go back and perform.
"Okay I'm good now, let's get back out there!"
Mick laughed
"Atta kid! You heard her! Let's go!"
Mick and John made their way out first Christine gave a comforting smile then made her way out Lindsey just glared at Mick while he made his way out
"So... you gonna tell me the real story? What the fuck was that Steph?!"
His voice was harsh and I felt like a child about to be disciplined. I hate that he has to watch me do this to myself, but I don't have much interest in trying to get better . I can't tell him about the fact that I have reoccurring black outs and I often lose my balance as soon as I get out of bed from being so malnourished.
"I'm telling the truth linds..."
My tears start to well up in my eyes and I begin to walk away from him to get to the stage and he pulls me back and leans his forehead against mine.
"I need you Steph. You're scaring the shit outta me"
I look up at him and kiss him then quickly exit. All of our past doesn't matter right now. I realize that this man is the only person that's ever cared this deeply for me. I love him but somehow I always find a way to not make it work and right now Im fighting my own head when in reality if I was sane I could have kicked that bitch Carol off her high horse and gotten my man back. When I have a mindset like this I feel so close to recovery that I can't almost taste it, sadly these feelings don't last long.
~~
Lindsey's POV
After the show I end up in Stevie's room, thankfully I won't have to make an excuse since Carol is out with Sara and Mick doing god knows what, like I care. Stevie leaves me laying in her bed while she takes a shower. Flipping through the channels not really interested in watching anything I scan the room looking for something to do to calm my ADHD and my eyes lay on her journal on the night stand.
"Don't look in there, she'll kill you. Literally."
I mentally repeat in my head. I need some answers though, like right fucking now. I'll face the consequences later. I flip through the pages quickly and quietly so I don't get caught and I open to the most recent page. At the top of the page her weight and 'calorie intake' is labeled. What the fuck? I continue to read the cursive print
" sometimes I have no motivation to even step out of my bed, i'd love to just sleep all day long. Is that selfish of me? I love my music and the fans but damn, the loneliness after a show is consuming it can be such a love/hate relationship...although I must say it's such a good feeling to once again sleep at night with Lindsey, well when he's not with Carol. It reminds me when we were just young kids again. I feel terrible that he's working so hard to reconnect with me but I'm not even trying. I just have too much going on in my head it's exhausting! Am I giving him false hope? Maybe I'm just his charity case because he can tell I'm too far gone..."
Then she goes on for a couple of sentences explaining what she ate through the day. What the actual fuck did I just read.
I snap out of my thoughts when I hear the shower turn off and I throw the journal back on the nightstand.
I went into the journal looking for answers now I'm even more dumbfounded than before.
"Linds, what's wrong?"
YOU ARE READING
Some become strangers
FanfictionSet in late 70's Stevie doesn't recognize the woman shes become and everyone is too caught up with their own demons; will they be able to save her?
