Stevie's Diary
Last night after I took my shower, weighed myself and made myself some green tea I had a few lines of coke then sank into my bed. Seconds later I felt a warm liquid run down my face. I brought my fingers up to my face and saw blood. I ran to my bathroom and got tissue to stop it. Should I be scared? It's happened twice this month. I don't think I have enough room on my mind to think about that right now though, I'm scared the band is catching onto my habits. They all wanted to go out to breakfast yesterday and I declined. I mean I deserved to decline I've been saying yes to anything and everything if It would make him happy because he's been hurt the most about that fact that our record hadn't sold as much as Rumours. Tusk was his baby and the fact that the world let him down and it didn't live up to his expectations not only bruised his ego but slowed his creativity, he's deeply hurt. I just couldn't say yes to breakfast. I need to get rid of this weight. Sure, I crave food all the damn time but am I gonna let my self have it? Hell no. I've successfully gone 3 days without food and I'm not gonna stop here. I barely have an appetite anyways and why would I let myself go out to eat with them if they're gonna criticize me on how much I'm eating and I'm just gonna be guilty about the food I decided on anyways. Maybe I'll treat myself to a bagel tomorrow and if I promise myself to burn it all off I'll have a bit of cream cheese too.
On a different topic, Lindsey's been acting so different with me, sure he still has his flare ups and barks at me whenever I'm off key at rehearsal or whatever but he's been like that since the beginning, lately he's been... nicer if I can even say that. Maybe I'm being delusional. I hope I'm not though. I love him and I'm sure everyone knows that. There's no Lindsey without stevie and vise versa. I could just be reading the signals wrong, I want him and my mind is just playing games, right?
-stevie
Lindsey's POV
Nothing is right anymore. I lay here in bed with a sweet girl that I call my girlfriend and she cares for me with every fiber in her body, or at least she tells me but all I can think about is Stevie. My mind never leaves her no matter how angry I am with her for not loving me the way I love her. She doesn't even think I love her anymore, I know she says it to her little girl group all the time, or really anyone who would listen. It's far from the truth. I need to know what's wrong with her. She's always tired and irritable, mood swings out of the roof, she doesn't socialize as much, her eyes seem so distance and there's no light there like there used to be. My Stephanie needs my help and I can feel it. I just wish I knew how to get her to open up, then again I haven't really made enough contact with her for her to actually talk to me. I have Carol Ann breathing down my neck as the day is long. I think I know what to do. I'll ask, no, beg Christine to take Carol shopping and pretend to actually value her as a friend or whatever so I can have my own time with Stevie. It'll have to be early tomorrow since we have a show later that night. What will I tell her? How do I approach this? I think I'll just invite her over to hmmm... think Lindsey think. I can invite her to lay some vocals over one of my demos! That seems innocent enough and she knows I love my home studio so it won't seem weird at all. She's a smart girl though, she'll think somethings up. I pray that she doesn't though. I shouldn't even care that she'll know I just need her to say yes to my invite because I'm honestly scared for her. I've been warning everyone not to get her as high as them, she's only 5'1! Mick is 6'6 and he gives her as much cocaine as him treating her like she's a grown ass man, god they're all such imbeciles sometimes not caring about how dangerous this shit is. I know I'm a hypocrite because I do it, but her and I aren't even in the same category. I know how addicted she is to that shit. To anyone who isn't addicted to that it isn't hard to pick up on the fact that she's dependent on it. My heart breaks for her. I wish I wasn't currently sharing a bed with a blood hound because if I weren't I'd leave this house and drive past every red light to get to her as quick as possible.
Just a filler for right now :) sorry if there's any errors haha
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Some become strangers
FanfictionSet in late 70's Stevie doesn't recognize the woman shes become and everyone is too caught up with their own demons; will they be able to save her?
