I woke up
Strapped to the bed
Wondering where I am
A familiar tinge
I smell medicine
I cant move
I’m confused
As I wiggle my way out of my tangle
I reach up to scratch my nose
When three people in scrubs came running into the room strapping me tighter to the bed
Calling me names like “feisty little thing”
I wanted to reach up and slap her
and scream
But I had no voice
I screamed so loud and the louder I screamed the louder the hospital bells rang for more help
No one could hear me as I was yelling
help me! help me!
My husband was a part of it too
He’s giving them consent to dig a hole into my stomach to feed me milk shakes
Telling me its good for me
As I screamed, I pulled the blue cord connected to my throat
A Louder ding went off from some machine
I couldn’t wake up from this nightmare
They reattached forcefully and painfully
Yelled at me to stop being silly
I tried to close my eyes but the pain was so deep in every part of my body
My chest had a tube collecting fluid
My bladder had a tube draining fluid
My butt had a tube draining fluid
My arm gets tight from a blood pressure arm band every 15mins continuously
I have IV fluids of all colors running into my overly perforated veins
I feel like I am suffocating
I can’t move nor scratch nor talk nor scream
My soul trapped in a body wasting away
I still can’t wake up from this nightmare
And everyday these people keep insisting on keeping me in this dreadful place
Making me feel better
But they’re driving me crazy
I’m 86 yrs old
Just let me go
Let me pull the cord
I’m tired
Let me go
I was given a sedative and I slept for 2 hours
Hoping it would be my last
But I woke up from the nightmare
Asking where I was
Before I took a deep breath
I realized I was still tied down to the bed
No one still could hear me and I cried but too dehydrated to produce tears
Code Blue, Code blue
Trying to let go, I see the light
So much noise and distraction
Preventing me from resting finally
Loud noises all round me
Pounding on my chest
Shocking me, beeps going off, so much chaos and I just want to rest
I hear nothing. They stopped making noise
I’m finally at rest, no pain, just peace
Don’t wake me up anymore because the nightmare is over
~Feel-her-so-far
