I am waiting for you Papa

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1.

On my 9th birthday

I waited for you to arrive,

my hardworking Papa who works ‘til late

I slept on the cold porch waiting 

until Mama carried me to my bed

2. 

That same year you fathered your bastard,

the monster with a gargantuan head

Mama said the creature was innocent

include it in my prayers, she said

but honestly Papa, I prayed for its death

3. 

Years passed and I tried to be good

hoping the gods would hear my prayers

I tried to be perfect for you Papa

because maybe somehow I’d be enough

but Papa, you never even noticed

4. 

Then came the night you hit Mama in the face

that night she cried blood instead of tears

I tended to her wounds and cried with her

from then, I started hating you Papa

I wished you hurt me instead

5.

Today, I sit on the porch like I did back then

I am waiting for you Papa

I am waiting for you again

I am waiting for you, hopefully for the last time

I am waiting for you….. to leave. 

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