M A N I A C (lesbian romance)

9. Reserve

(WARNING : : THIS IS GONNA BE SO MOTHERFUCKING SHORT BECAUSE I'M AT SCHOOL AND THIS WAS THE ONLY WAY YA GIRL COULD UPDATE, FORGIVE ME IF IT'S BEEN SOOOOO LONG SINCE I'VE UPDATED, I LOVES ALLS OF YOUS!)

re·serve

/rəˈzərv/

A supply of a commodity not needed for immediate use but available if required. 

Hoard, maintain, order and hold

For the girl that never rest became reckless; she grabbed a razor and found great sleep. 

Selena POV

Three days from that morning . . .

I was still here, good. I thought I cut too deep; deep enough to kill myself. Usually, anyone else would have tried to end it all, I needed to cut deep enough find an outing. The voice was telling me this was the way to do things; I listened to the voice strangely enough and that was not something I usually do. 

The intention was to get out and I didn't expect to be out for so long, however long that is. But as I was coming full term to being woke I felt a lukewarm warmth atop my hand and a sore-sounding feminine voice full of sobs. My hands are strapped down by the wrist, not much have changed, huh. 

Slowly I turn my head; platinum blond long hair and a plum-colored turtleneck, classic mom. A classic style of her's, it was an unexplainable style but it was her's, it was a vicious style and yet hearing her weep over me didn't change her personal style as a person towards me. I had all the more no mercy for her as she thought here that I could either be trapped inside myself or on the verge of death. My father was sitting in a farther chair across the basement, he was so far away and had fallen asleep in his slumped over position. 

I pull my hand from my mother's cheek ever so slowly, she could feel me moving and quickly she sat up, gasping. "S'lena!" my mother slurred. "Gene!" my mother whisper/shouted. My father wakes up quickly. 

I shifted on the bed and looked around to see that all types of machines and fluids were tapped into me. It's a strange feeling for me to be connected to machines, I can't remember the last time I had been. "you're okay, you're fine, you're fine sweetheart!" my father hovered over me. He caresses my face with his thumb brushing the left of my temple. I was creeped out, all of this attention on me, the sudden kindness. It couldn't be real because none of it was, none of this is believable. 

"Don't touch me!" I croak. 

"Give her water-- she needs water, Selena please calm down," my mother told me. "we're right here, we're not here to hurt you." none of her words relaxed me a bit. My father didn't go too far away when he walks over to the mini fridge, he takes a cup and pours in the water coming back.

He sets the water aside and my parents with on both side from my bed holding each of my hands on their side. I squirmed, wanting to be let go. I didn't mind being down here alone and strapped down but I didn't want to be touched by the two people whom abused me. "stop!" I cry out. I can hear the machine that monitors my heart getting louder by the stress I was in. 

My father pulls me in bringing me in and kissing my face. "I love you, I love you with all my heart-- I know you aren't perfect but you are my daughter and for the longest I've been trying to create you in my imagine, the image of your brother, you have to understand it is hard to lose a child twice, the same child and I've skipped on the best thing in my life for the past almost twenty-three years," my father held my cheeks in his palm. "our only child-- and no matter what you can't do with this body, no matter the illness we will always love you Selena. I know you won't forgive me anymore than you won't forgive your mother but we want to take care of you although we know you won't anything, let us take care of you, let us love you all over, I want to be your father!"