Robbers (The 1975//Matty Healy)

Shopping Adventure

"You're boyfriend doesn't like me." he smirked.

"He's not my boyfriend." I mumbled, getting up from my couch. I walked into my kitchen. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Yes please."

"Milk and sugar?"

"Extra milk please, and hold the drugs this time."

"Maybe."

I made us both coffee and we sat in comfortable silence for a while.

"Do you want to come to the supermarket with me or can I trust you to stay home alone?"

"Yeah I guess I'll come with you. There's not too much to do around here and I'll be too tempted to rob you." He laughed.

I changed out of my pajamas and we were off. The store was only a few blocks from my apartment and only took fifteen minutes to get to, so we walked.

We wandered around a bit, Matty decided to sit in the carriage an hold all my groceries.

"You can pick something out if you want." I said

"What?" he seemed surprised. "Why?"

"I already got all my groceries, if you want anything that I don't already have, you can go pick it out."

He pushed all the groceries off of him and jumped out of the carriage. "Really?"

"Yeah," I laughed. "Ill wait here for you."

"Okay I'll be right back. Thank you." He sounded like an excited toddler as he turned and ran through the store.

He came back in less than a minute with a bag of chocolates and a box of tea. "Thank you." he panted, still out of breath from his circuit around the store. He put his tea and chocolates in the carriage and we went to pay.

We walked by a few stores on the way home, stoping occasionally to look in the windows and read flyers. I had two bags, one in each hand. I could have carried more, but Matty insisted on taking the rest since I bought him tea and candy.

I was reading the sale ad on the window of the record store when Matty slung his arm over my shoulders and started to pulled me away from the store. "Hey I was reading that! Matty, what the h-"

"Shhh we gotta go." He whispered.

"Wha-"

"Shhhhhh!" He continued to drag me away from the store.

"Would yo-"

Just as he was about to shush me for the third time, there was a high-pitched shriek.

"Matty?!" We stopped.

"Shit." he mumbled.

"Oh my god! Matty!"

"Help me." he whispered desperately as an extremely tan, extremely thin, extremely blond girl rushed over to us. She grabbed his face in her hands and yanked him down into a kiss. I had to hold back my laugh. Matty's arm, still slung over my shoulder, was gripped so tight he almost lifted me off the ground.

"Matty! it's been so long! Did you miss me?" she winked. Matty looked uncomfortable.

"Kara! Yeah it's been a while.... Yeah." He faked enthusiasm.

"Why haven't you called me?" she whined.

"Oh I, uh, I guess I must have lost your number." He was an awful liar, but I had a feeling Kara wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer.

"Who's this?" she asked, finally noticing me. She looked at Matty, then me, then to his arm on my shoulder. I just continued to hold in my laugh.

"This is Rose, my-"

"Babysitter" I interjected. I thought it was pretty funny, Kara on the other hand did not.

"Girlfriend. Rose is my girlfriend." Matty said nervously.

"Really?" Kara scoffed, scanning me up and down.

"Apparently." I said under my breath.

"What?" She snapped at me.

"Yes, this is my girlfriend." He repeated. Kara continued to give me a death glare. "Well this has been fun, but we really need to get home. Isn't that right, love?" he nudged me.

"Oh yeah, babe." I laughed.

"Bye Kara, it's been nice seeing you!" Matty said as we turned to walk away.

"Yeah, whatever." Kara grumbled as she stomped back to the record store.

After about five minutes Matty broke out momentary silence. "Babysitter? Are you serious Rose? Babysitter?" he laughed.

"Who was that Matty oh jeez she was just wonderful!"

"Oh god, I met her at a bar like two years ago and she just clung on to me and wouldn't leave me alone! She's absolutely bonkers! She kept calling me and texting me, it was awful. At first I thought she was just annoying, but then she got worse."

"How so?" I asked.

"She would 'bump into me' all the time, while I was at work, shopping, walking on the streets! It was terrible."

"So how'd you shake her?"

"I changed my number and told her it was because I dropped my phone down a sewer and then I moved."

"She was that bad?"

"She was frightening!" We were back at my apartment building. By the time we got back to my apartment and put away the groceries, it was already four o'clock in the afternoon. We had somehow spent all day at the store.

"Why haven't you called me?" I teased, mimicking Kara. Matty was cracking up.

"You do a really good impression." We were in my kitchen, I was sitting on my counter and Matty was leaning on the fridge. "Thank you, by the way."

"For being your pretend girlfriend?"

"Well yeah, but for the tea and candy too."

"You've already said thank you, it was no big deal Matty."

"I know, but just, thank you, Rose."