I Hate That I Love You
Chapter 5
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Blake's POV
I punched the bathroom wall when I heard her slam the front door close. The words I said to her played over and over again in my head and I hated myself even more with every passing second.
Carly West and I fight. We disagree on everything, and I mean everything. We argue every minuet of every day. That's how it's always been.
What confuses me is that as much as this girl irritates every bone in my body, I don't hate her. I don't even dislike the woman. In fact, what I feel towards her is the exact opposite. I am completely captivated by Carly Anne West.
I'm not going to lie, there's plenty of other women for me to pick from. Hell, I can just point one out randomly, put a little bit of Blake charm in the conversation, and bam! She's in my bed less than a micro second later.
And I'm not going to lie again: even the most beautiful, flexible, and interesting woman in the universe won't be able to come even half way close to compare Carly West.
Maybe it was the way her blond hair felt like silk. Or how her bright blue eyes just catches yours and locks you in. Or how her luscious lips always tasted like cherries. And how her irresistibly small figure were curvy in all the right places.
I groaned at the memory of her baby soft skin against mine. Whenever we kiss, I feel like fainting from the unreal sensation. Every time she touches me, it feels like I'm getting those static shocks all over my body.
Oh my God, I had taken her virginity. Carly West? A virgin? How was someone as spunky and crazy as her haven't done the deed?
I mentally kicked myself in the ass even harder than I already was. It was her first sexual encounter, and besides the fact that it wasn't romantic like how every woman wanted it, and how I wanted her to experience it, I had kicked her out right after.
What in the hell was I doing?
I was scared of the feelings that would overwhelm me every time I was around Carly. Just smelling her flowery scent causes my mind to go blank.
Let's not even get started about whenever I saw her. Whether she was wearing something tight and revealing or big and baggy, I would still be angry at the fact that I automatically get a semi erection.
I remember waking up on Thanksgiving morning a couple of months ago. My arm was around her, pulling her small body right against mine. Her intoxicating scent filled my scenes and the softness of her golden skin made my morning wood even bigger, causing her to wake up screaming.
I was well aware of her feelings for me. I know she was attracted to me, she wasn't shy about it. She flaunted it 24/7. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind and do what she pleased. She was a stubborn one and her spunkiness was one of the reasons I liked her.
Carly West was not like any other person in this world. So why was I treating her like she was ordinary? Cause she was way beyond that. She's incredibly perfect and deserves the best.
The thing was, I wasn't healthy for her. That's why i stayed away from her. I kept my feelings to myself. She needed someone who was as energetic and crazy as her. Not some depressed, serious man with damaged goods.
Maybe that's why. I know I'm not good enough for her. I have a trail of broken hearts behind me and a damaged past. Carly needs a man who didn't carry so much baggage with him.
I replayed back the scene from my bedroom and I felt my heart crack at the hurt in her beautiful voice. I've hurt her. That's all I ever do. Carly West was better off without me.
