I'm Not Okay [UsUk]

Anger

As Alfred was finally released from the hospital that same night, the Kirklands had a lot of work to do. First, they dropped Gilbert and Elizabeta off at their homes, and then continued to drive home with Alfred and Arthur.

The two boys sat together in the back seats, the Brit embracing the other tightly and holding his hand as they both just felt at peace for at least that longer moment.

Well, one of them was completely at peace, and one was worried. Again.

"Alfred, you seem troubled... What's bothering you?" Arthur whispered to him gently, moving to the side a few strands of hair that covered the American's gorgeous blue eyes.

"Nothing, nothing." Alfred immediately replied, leaning onto the Brit for extra warmth and safety as they drove off towards home.
Never in a thousand years did he imagine that he would call Arthur's place home. But here they were now, sharing a place to live - temporary or not, he didn't care. As long as they were together.

"No, you can say it." The English boy softly smiled, spending more time than usual just looking at Alfred, taking in his scent and noticing how wonderful he actually was to him. And to think he almost lost him... Arthur wouldn't be able to take it.

"...Fine." Alfred sighed in defeat. "I'm worried how Matthew will act when I get home. Is he mad or...? I don't want him to be angry with me."

And as Arthur was going to reply, a 'we're here' could be heard from the front seat, and the Kirklands' old Mercedes was parked in the driveway.

The two boys got out, closing the door behind them and both slightly shivering at the cold December air that suddenly hit them unprepared. "Alfred, he's not mad at you." Arthur managed to quickly respond, taking the American boy by the hand as they walked over to the house, waiting for the parents to unlock the door.

Inside the house, they were awaited by Arthur's three brothers all jumping to hug everybody out as tight as that was possible, and Alfred didn't even bother to fight back. Instead he accepted the momentary embrace, noticing how he was actually... Smiling. It was a little smile, but it showed that he was, indeed, happy to be alive at the given moment. At least to a certain degree.

"Alright boys, let Alfred go." Alice chuckled when she realized that the boy was barely able to move from their endless hugging. It was a humorous, but quite cheerful sight to experience.

They really did let him go, and he gave them another small smile before heading directly to the guest room - his mind, heart and body led him towards his younger brother, the worry almost tearing him apart.

He didn't enter the room immediately. He listened a bit in front of the door, hearing nothing but complete silence coming from the inside. So he knocked.

"Who is it?" There was a voice from the other side. It was Matthew, of course, speaking in a hoarse and tired tone.

"It's Alfred."

"...Oh."

Matthew didn't tell him that he could come in, but he still did, making soft and slow steps into the room and closing the door behind himself.
The younger was laying on the bed with only the screen of his phone giving light to the otherwise dark space around, and as Alfred walked in, he didn't move a muscle. Didn't turn around, didn't look... Just like nothing had happened.

"Am I bothering...?" Alfred asked cautiously, approaching his own bed. But he didn't sit down.

"No." Matthew replied with a monotone voice, finally shutting off his phone and giving his brother nothing more but a second long sideways glance.