Acrophilia

XI: breakdown

       Jinyoung's smile is wide and honest, warm in a way Jaebeom could never expect of someone like the younger man. Jinyoung smiles like someone who's happy with life, who is content and wouldn't change anything, someone who accepts everything life throws at him, someone strong and determined. Like someone who isn't anything like the boy Jaebeom's gotten to know.

"How did you find me?" Jaebeom asks, suspicion rising in his guts.

"I wasn't stalking you if that's what you were wondering," Jinyoung replies easily, looking ahead, to all the cars passing by while leaning back casually, his hands on the rail but they don't seem to be of any support. "I came here just because, I don't really think of the places I go, I just... go. I was here and I saw you and you looked like someone who lost everything in life."

Jaebeom sighs, feeling drained of all energy again as his worries and thoughts come back at him. Jinyoung isn't a distraction for his inner chaos, the city has spit him out and he's left to deal with his emotions that are too much for him. It's months of bottling things up, it feels now the contents reached the brim.

Overwhelmed and scared he might tear up in front of someone he barely knows, Jaebeom turns away and focuses on the sunset.

"I haven't lost anything yet... but I might have to let go of something too important," Jaebeom whispers, too low for anyone to hear when the sun is barely setting and the city sings louder than his voice.

"Do you have to?" Jinyoung asks and Jaebeom turns so fast to stare at the younger, surprised he actually heard him. Jinyoung meets his eyes without turning his head, but Jaebeom can see the little smile that confirms that yes, he heard him.

"How...?" He doesn't finish the question, squinting to see Jinyoung better, that odd guy who keeps surprising him. He is just there, sitting on the rail so casually as if he didn't show up out of nowhere, as if he couldn't hear Jaebeom's whispers meant to be carried away by the wind without anyone listening to them.

"Unless forced, you don't have to let go of the things you don't want to," Jinyoung continues, smiling more kindly this time. "Is someone forcing you?"

Jaebeom takes a deep breath, feeling his throat closing up because part of him feels pressured to let go of his mother and the hope she might wake up. And here is Jinyoung, reminding him that he doesn't have to do that if he doesn't want to.

"Could you talk to me without sitting on the rail?" Jaebeom asks instead of speaking about the issue. Jinyoung can hear his whispers so now his thoughts are only save in his head.

"Oh, why? Does is scare you I might fall?" Jinyoung taunts, humour in his voice and it is reflected in his grin as he starts to lean back, face mocking as his eyes widen. "Oh, oh, oh!" He exclaims and Jaebeom feels his body paralysing with fear as Jinyoung tilts backwards, dangerously.

"STOP THAT!" Jaebeom screams, jumping to life and moving, his arms reaching for Jinyoung immediately, wrapping around the slim waist and holding him. His own body slots between the younger's legs and Jaebeom just holds on to him for dear life, keeping him from falling.

"Ei~," Jinyoung laughs. "I wasn't going to fall, my feet keep me hooked," he continues but Jaebeom doesn't let go. "Is this just an excuse to hug me? You needn't to, just asking is enough. I'm very generous with my hugs."

Jaebeom doesn't pull back, his heart is hammering just in fear at the idea of seeing Jinyoung die. Seeing anyone die terrifies him because it's a reminder of how his mother is with one foot in the afterlife. That fear of losing his mother is taking the best of him, all his feelings and emotions go haywire. He's choked and overwhelmed, scared and lonely. He hasn't let people comfort him, not really. He's born all the burden on his own and he's exhausted. There's warmth now surrounding him and Jaebeom just can't pull back, his knees are weak and he's drained. He's heartbroken and lost.