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12/25/16
I UNTANGLE MYSELF from Clayton's body putting the necessary space between us. My body no longer running heated. Instead a cold wave has washed up upon me completely sobering me of all the emotions that filled me at Clayton's touch and kiss. I push him out of the way to chase down my best friend who's almost all the way down the hall.
"Chase!" I shout after him. My heels clash loudly with the hardwood flooring as I run. "Stop!" I yell as my hand lands on his shoulder and yanks his body backwards so he doesn't fully leave the long hallway. He can't leave like this, he has to know I would never hurt him like this for nothing. He has to know the truth that runs though my veins. The feelings that fill my heart.
"Leave me alone Hayley," he groans heatedly. He flips on his heal so he's facing me now. His face is hard, his jaw locked, and his once friendly eyes are the source of an emotion I've never seen from him. At least directed at me. Anger, hurt, confusion mixes within in his hazel eyes that are placed on me.
He attempts to take a few steps away from me, but I latch onto his arm and pull him back to me. "No!" I fight back. "We need to talk," I tell him forcefully. I can't lose my best friend, after everything. After every secret encounter to make sure I don't hurt him, I can't lose him from one weak moment. I can't lose him at all.
He rips his arm out of my grip as if he can't even stand to feel me touch him, and the simple action breaks my heart more than anything else said so far. "Talk about what?" he questions seething. "Talk about how you're hooking up with my brother behind my back," he says his words breaking off at the end with a small crack. Showing the true sadness that seeps throughout him, following the anger that costs every visible emotion.
"It isn't just a hook up," I say defensively. I honestly wish it was, wish Clayton was just another guy to help drown out the feelings. But he does the exact opposite. He amplifies everything within me. He pushes me in ways that are helping me become a better person. I wish he meant nothing to me, but he means everything. My heart clenches at the thought of how much I love him and he doesn't even know.
"I told you about Scarlett," Chase says shaking his head. "You took advantage," he says disgusted at the idea that me of all people is with his brother. His brother who had the fairytale life and girlfriend, and then fate took it all away. I can see it in his eyes; even my friend doesn't think I deserve his brother, and my heart begins to fall apart.
But first anger races through me at his judgment. "He isn't a frail little puppy Chase," I respond pushing away the hurt that fills me. "Yes, he's broken but so am I. We understand each other...." I trail breathing heavily. Tears gather in my eyes as I open my heart and say the words I know won't fix what's happened but feel like they need to be spoken. "I love him," I whisper.
Chase's face morphs into complete shock at my confession. Then his eyebrows draw together as rage once again muddles his feelings. "You don't know what love is Hayley," he says. "Because sleeping with him behind my back isn't love," he spits before his eyes lock on a form behind me.
