Empress Natsume ✓

XX

"I told you not to delay your apology or you'll drain your courage to talk to him but what did you say? 'I will earn a lot of courage tomorrow to talk to him"

Ayano mimicked my voice as I walked back and forth in my room, biting my finger nails.

"Come on, milady. This is your last chance, he's going away again for his campaign and god knows when will he came back"

My feet halted as I quickly turned to Ayano.

"He's going to a campaign again?"

I cannot hide the disappointment in my voice, earning a teasing smile from Ayano.

"Yes, and it seems like they're already leaving this morning. I saw the soldiers assembling near the palace gate on my way here"

When will he come back home again? After two or three years? This is the only opportunity that I've got to talk to him but what if he dismissed me without hearing my side? Or worse, what if I angered him again? I'm not afraid of the physical pain that he'll give me, I'm afraid of my emotional feelings that's affecting my mentality. Why am I being this way? I hide my emotions well, I don't hold grudges for long, even when my mother slapped me for the first time, I'm not brooding over it because I know that it's also for my good anyway and how is this any different? I'm not wrong but I'm not on the right side either, and even with Ayano's statement that I'm lucky that he only gave me a little bruise on the right cheek, I'm still sulking. His words cut me like a knife.

I told myself a multiple times that I shouldn't take it to heart but feelings are feelings, my feelings are always getting in my way.

Ayano stood up and slides the door, she grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the door.

"You need to talk to him, make up with him, milady. You have to attend a Sakura festival in the beautiful south valley of Sang, remember?"

When I was finally out of my chamber, she let go of my wrist and pushed my back.

"Go, milady"

I looked back at her with a worried expression.

"But I don't know what to tell him"

She put her hand on her waist and rolled her eyes at me.

"Just ask for his forgiveness, admit that you're wrong first before explaining your reasons to him. Men nowadays are very prideful, you need to admit that you're wrong first even though you're not before they ever listen to you"

When I didn't move my feet, she gave me another push on my back.

"Just go"

She give me an encouraging smile and motioned her hands to shoo me away.

"Don't just walk, milady. You need to run or you won't catch up with him!"

With that said, I quickly move my feet to run. Running in the hallway again, lately I've been doing a lot of improper things that a lady must not do but what can I say? I'm Natsume Takahiro, I can't pretend for long because I'm me.

The servants that I'm passing by bowed at me with an odd look again, just like before. But I don't care, I need to catch up with him, I need to talk to him!

I was heaving when I reached the ground floor and a few strands of my hair got away from my hairpin, I probably look so hassle right now, I can feel the beads of sweats rolling on my forehead.

This castle is not really good for running activities, I was about to run again when I remembered something, I looked down on myself and touched my face.