The Rogue's Love

Chapter Twenty-Two: Parents-to-Be

The Rogue’s Love

Chapter Twenty-Two: Parents-to-Be

I numbly trailed behind the two Akatsuki members, feeling much like a prisoner of war. Only, my hands and feet weren’t exactly restrained. It was the feeling of being hopeless that made me similar to one. My mind had been stuck on the thing that was growing inside of me for most part of the morning. Even if I wasn’t particularly happy about this predicament, I had already decided on protecting Sasori’s child with my life.

The whole situation worried me, though. With a child being implanted in me, I would be deemed even more worthless than before. I wouldn’t even be able to go on missions with Konan, like I had been able to before to redeem myself. Being as I was, I’m not even sure if the boys’ claim on me would protect me from Leader-sama’s wrath. Why would he let me live if I no longer had purpose?

Not that I had much of one to begin with, which, only made this that much worse.

Even if Pein did let me live, how could I possibly raise a child in that environment? It was nothing but the sex appeal and heinous crimes.  Not a very suitable atmosphere for a developing, young soul.

I brought my hand up to my mouth, worriedly biting at my nails. What could I possibly do? This could possibly be the biggest problem I have encountered in all of my teenage years.  And, if the child looked and acted anything like Sasori, I’m sure more would arise.

“Raikou, you’re lagging!” Deidara called, both men turning around to glare at me. I winced, suddenly feeling homesick. I’d never thought that I’d miss such an enclosed and cage like area. But, right now, it’d be nice to just lay in a familiar atmosphere  ̶̶̶̶̶ without any potential danger ̶̶̶ and cry.

I jogged to catch up to the criminals, quick to apologize. Sasori’ was once again in his hideous disguise, making my heart ache. I wish for once that he would be more compassionate towards me. Instead of brushing me off, I could use a little support. Especially now, when I was in such a fragile state.

Deidara sighed, rolling his eyes, “I really do wish we could’ve left you behind. Things would be so much more easily done.” He complained, hoisting me unto his back. Sasori grunted in agreement, continuing his steady treading.

“Come. I don’t like to be kept waiting.”

~            ~               ~

“When do you think he’ll be back?” I asked, leisurely laying in the sand. Deidara had gone to collect the One Tail’s host, giving us no promises of keeping the village intact. Now would really be a bad time to be a citizen inside the gates of Sunagakure.

“Better be soon. I hate to be kept waiting,” Sasori grumbled, stiffly standing besides me. I huffed, throwing my hands over my head, letting them comfortably rest in the sand. The sun would soon start setting, taking all of its glorious heat with it. It would get cold soon, and the heat preserved in the sand would soon fade, as well.

“Sasori, will you take that off?” I asked, feeling so very alone, even with his company. He complied, hearing the desperation in my voice. Ever since this morning he’s been acting as distant as ever, not even having the heart to bicker with Deidara on their views of art. Henceforth, there was nothing to distract me from worrisome thoughts.

Sasori laid beside me, pulling me so that I could lay my head on his chest. His embrace had always comforted me, before. But, not by much, now.

“Sasori,” I whispered, grasping a fistful of his cloak in my hand. “I’m scared.”

The puppet master rubbed my back in a soothing pace, willing the muscles there to relax. Even if my body were no longer tense, no matter what I did, I couldn’t ease my mind. Thoughts of our child swirled around my head ̶ not one of them pleasant. I was hardly an adult, myself. How was I supposed to raise a baby?

“The baby?” He asked, his voice sounding as empty as my chest. It felt as if nothing could warm up the Artic that resided there, refusing to let me see the possible bright side of this situation. There was one, wasn’t there?

I nodded, holding onto him tighter.

He sighed, pulling my chin up so I was looking at him. It was only now that I could see that there was more life in his eyes that I had originally thought. Sure, he still seemed incredibly hallow, but I could tell he was slowly changing into something more.

“Sasori?”

He tenderly pressed his lips against mine, settling my anxiety. Was there anything he couldn’t do?

“What’s there to be scared of? I‘ll be here every step of the way.” I felt myself blush, surprised that he dropped his usual non-caring demeanor. Even if this wasn’t the kind of confession every girl longed of hearing, I knew that this was Sasori’s way of telling me that he cared. It wasn’t easy for him to display emotion, so this was probably more than I could’ve ever hoped for.

I smiled, holding him close to me. “Thank you, Saso-kun.” He squeezed me back, not once loosening his hold on me.

“I’ve never really had parents, you know. And, to be honest, I don’t know how to go about this kind of thing.” Sasori confessed. My eyes widened, having just realized that even Sasori had his doubts. Insecurities, even. And, as perfect as he may seem, he wasn’t. As a being, he wasn’t very idealistic. But, I guess to me, that’s what made his every bit the best possible thing I could’ve hoped for. Even if it was officially mine.

“Well, I don’t exactly have the best history with kids,” I let out a humorless laugh, feeling the pain all over, again. No matter how hard I tried, I would never forget those children I was forced into killing. In the end, my will was weak. Just like me. “I’m not fit to be a mother,” I said, voicing my thoughts aloud. How could I be?

I listened to Sasori’s steady breathing as I awaited his answer, ready for him to recall the memories, and shoot me down.

“I trust you, Raikou. I know you would never ̶̶̶ ‘’

“That’s not the point, Sasori. I would never hurt this thing inside of me. I’d rather die. But, I’ve killed others ̶̶̶ it’s the concept that counts. “

I cringed as my blade went through the last of them, the young boy’s pleas quickly turning into a sort of gurgling. Could I have found a less painful way to end him? Even now, with the light fading from his eyes, I could see how much pain the wound inflicted on him.

My body collapsed besides the young male as I repeatedly apologized, letting the tears freely fall from my eyes. If I tried to make another stand, would Konan just beat me down, again?

“Raikou? Are you okay? Did you get hurt?” Sasori searched my body for any physical damage, and when he found none, cradled me to his chest. Just like the last time I had come home to him, in such a battered condition.

“Sasori…I…I cant do this anymore.” I gasped, letting the remorse eat away at me. He held me tightly, cursing under his breath.

I wiped the tears away from my eyes, let Sasori’s embrace comfort me, like it had that day. He had witnessed firsthand how I had killed so many innocent lives, along with their dreams. So, how could he possibly say he trusted me? How could he trust me with something like this?



“If you had no remorse for what you had done, I wouldn’t be able to say that I do. But, I do, Raikou. I trust you. You’re different from them. Than me. And, as far as I’m concerned, I will keep you and our child safe. Even if it kills me.”

“Saso--”

“Hey, Sasori! What are you doing? Get in your freaky costume, and let’s go! We have a tailed beast to extract!” Deidara excitedly yelled, his grin never seeming to fade. Well, this was it. I took a deep breath in order to calm my nerves.

It was time to kill the Kazekage. I looked over at Gaara’s sleeping face, deciding to ride the bird with the young man. I tried to put my feelings aside as I grimly accepted his fate.

He had formed a strong alliance between Konohagakure and Sunagakure. And, by taking a hand in his murder, I was shattering all ties I had to home.

!*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*!

Bow chika wowow. :D Sorry it took me so long to update~ Being as it is summer, and I have no life, I really have no excuse. Shugo Chara has just been distracting me…and role playing games…

On another note, as anyone seen School Days? Ahaha, the ending…is the only part of the anime I watched.. >.> Has anyone seen Another? Favorite anime. Ever. Omg. So good. Asdfghkl Can’t control my feels. …Gonna stop talking, now.

Happy Readings~! ♥