The Rogue's Love

Chapter Nine: Hope

The Rogue’s Love

Chapter Nine: Hope

I stared blankly at the ceiling as Deidara absent mindedly played with my hair. He was in one of his extremely rare moods where he was calm. It wasn’t very often that he was so mellow, so I was taking advantage while I could. During these ground breaking moments, I could actually talk to him without treating him like a child. It was a huge relief on my behalf.

He seemed to be just as affected by my mood as I was, letting me be engulfed in silence, wrapped up in my own thoughts. So, when I finally did talk, he jumped a little in surprise, not actually expecting me to say something. “Dei, do you think he hates me?” My voice hung in the air, ringing with a sort of mournful tone.

I’ve never had to deal with boys, before. They always seemed to avoid me, at all cost. I don’t really know why, but I’d always been a bit anti-social. Now was a hell of a time to dive in such a situation. Especially with someone like Sasori, who was probably the most unfeeling person I knew.

Deidara’s fingers stopped dwindling  in my hair, only to start again a second later. “Define hate,” I groaned, throwing my hands at my face. The fact that he was being so placid about my misery was not helping situation. Nor was my over-active imagination that kept dwelling on the few times I’ve spent with Sasori.  I know now that those moments didn’t mean near as much to him, as they did me.

“I don’t know what to do…” I complained, filled with anguish. I was most likely over-reacting, but it seemed fair enough. Truthfully, Deidara was most likely not my best option to be taking advice from, but he was the most suited. He knew his partner better than anyone.

“Why worry about him? He’s really acting no different than anyone else around here would. If someone like Kisame said that to you, you wouldn’t have been nearly as offended.”

“But, it wasn’t Kisame! It was him,” I turned to stare into his eyes, trying to make him understand without actually explaining my reasons behind my hurt. Jesshika was one person far too many.

He shrugged, “Even so, Sasori is probably the least feeling of us all. I think he lost that ability long ago…” I perked up, momentarily forgetting about my petty problems to hear about the man that swallowed my every thought.

“Really? Why?” I was prepared to hear a tear jerking story about Sasori’s past that filled him with inner turmoil, creating a dark hole of never ending darkness. Well, that’s what I’ve always thought, making him somewhat like Uchiha Sasuke…only, more attractive. In fact, that was the type of answer I was hoping for. So, I could run to him, telling him I’ll always be there for him, no matter what deep, dark secrets his past held. And then, he’d engulf me in an everlasting passionate kiss, that would simply take my breath away.

Too bad nothing like that happened.

“You don’t know?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. I eagerly leaned forward, shaking my head. Neither of us seemed to notice how close we were, noses practically touching, until someone walked through the unlocked door.

“Deidara, if you don’t-- Oh. It seems as if I’m interrupting something,” I quickly jumped away from the oblivious blonde, heat rising up my collarbone. From another person’s perspective, that could of looked bad. Really bad. And, even worse, it was Sasori who was the person to catch us in the act. If only he knew just how innocent things really were. Or rather, how it was meant to be.
Whereas I was completely panicking, Deidara seemed to be ill at ease. What should I tell him? I can’t make up a good excuse. Especially not under such pressure. I’m not good under pressure. “Not really. Raikou just got excited, that’s all.”

Sasori raised an eyebrow, not exactly sure what to make of us. In all reality, it was the truth. I just wished he would have pushed me away. Deidara’s rejection would have been nothing compared to the countless things Sasori could have done to me. And, has done.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing. I guess I’ll leave you two to it, then. Just, when your done, fix my damn wall.” He said, only addressing Deidara, not once even looking at me.

“Wait, Sasori! I--” He slammed the door shut before I could even begin my senseless babbling that would most likely only make things worse for me.  I seemed to attract bad luck.

Deidara sighed, roughing up my hair. “Sorry, kiddo. He’s a bit stubborn. Don’t worry, not much bothers him,"

“But, why? You never told me…” Frustrated tears were starting to build behind my eyes, as I started to get an unnerving urge to rip someone’s head off. Nothing I ever did was right. Ever.

“Maybe he should tell you that one,” He said, reconsidering his decision. “He may act like a hard ass, but there’s one thing I can guarantee: he doesn’t hate you.”

~              ~              ~

I meekly knocked on Itachi’s door, knowing Jesshika would most likely be shut up in there with him. I really didn’t know what kind of thing they had going on, but I was too wrapped up in my own problems to care at the moment. Right now, my problems were more important. Although, in a situation like this, she’d probably have a better understanding what to do. And luck. She’s didn’t seem to be put in a lot of bad positions.

“Oh.. It’s you…” Itachi sighed, a bit disappointed in my unexpected appearance. Who was he expecting? Jesus?

“Where’s Jesshika?” I asked, standing on the tips of my toes. I couldn’t seem to see past his freakishly tall figure, my head not even clearing his shoulder.

“Not here. She went shopping, again.” Again? But, we had just gotten back! What could she possibly need? I, on the other hand, could be content for the rest of my life with the load we’d gotten the first time.

I nodded, lowering my head to the floor. Itachi sighed beside me, gesturing me into his room. “I’m a great listener, if there’s anything you need.”

Even if the very thought of talking to the Uchiha intrigued me, I rejected his offer. There was no way I could tell him. I’d be way too awkward. “No thanks. I think I’ll just go find Deidara.”

“Suit yourself,” He said, locking himself back into his dark room. I never expected Itachi to actually volunteer his services to me, but it probably wouldn’t have been done without some kind of payment. The Akatsuki never just gave things for free. It was like, against code or something.

Instead of actually doing as I said I would, I set off to find Sasori. I felt as if I should mend things, even if nothing was broken.

I found him lounging in the living room, flipping through TV channels. His ever present bored expression was painted on his face, never seeming to vanish. No matter what he was doing, I couldn’t help but stare. It was like he had this alluring aura about him that no matter what, just made me crave to be near. To be noticed.

“Don’t just stand there with your mouth open like that. You’ll catch flies,” His voice was overly dull, startling me. Why was I so naïve to think that he couldn’t sense my presence? I really should be more careful when it came to my staring problem.

“Sorry,” I muttered, awkwardly sitting across the room from him. I acted as if I were interested in the constant flipping of channels, while discreetly glancing at him every few seconds.  I didn’t mean to, and really, I didn’t even notice.

He threw the remote down, completely turning his body to face me. “What? Did you want something? Your staring is starting to get on my nerves.” His voice was bitter, making me wince. I do wish he didn’t act this way towards me. If only it were someone else, I wouldn’t care.

I swallowed loudly, trying to remain brave. Not exactly the easiest thing when I was so timid, “I just…” I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath through my nose. Stay calm, you’re talking to Sasori, not planning a mass murder. “Nothing…happened between me and Deidara.”

He rolled his eyes, not at all amused with my worthless explanation. “Is that all?” I let my gaze shift to the televisions, fuming. His attitude was starting to get under my skin, especially when I was trying so hard. But, for what? It was all in vain.

I curtly nodded, standing up. If he was going to be like that, fine. I didn’t need his bullshit. Not now, not ever. As I retreated from the room, I could feel his gaze lingering on my back. But, at the moment, I didn’t care. Or at least, I didn’t want to. There was always that dull glimmer of hope that, maybe, he’d run after me.

Fat chance.

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I wanted to upload this, yesterday /: But, my hand was hurting soooooo bad O___________O Like, dufgyifyerff. I hate going to the doctors -.- Anyways, I’m not gonna bore you with my silly ranting ^-^ Please comment? :3