From Grief to Colour| ✓

XI- Snowflakes and Burning Fires

Walls of my own. Walls of my own. Of what kind?

The words loop in ringing bells in my ears, drumming its anxiety across my mind from working. The sun is high and its light is making my headache worst. The village of Sciros has already been put out by the help of the knights and Trevor, rumors have already taken its place, spreading like wildfire about the threat to the Queen by the 'Omissionary', the one who was responsible for the fire at dawn.

58 dead. 61 injured, the latest report read.

Scrunching it up, I toss it away, getting up and walking towards the dining hall for a drink to cool my anger.

"Don't push yourself too hard, my queen."

I turn to see General Trevor bowing to me by the doors of the garden.

"You think? They were my people. And I didn't get to save them."

"The knights that were posted there were gone. We presumed they were killed by the Omissionary before they ravaged the village. You couldn't control that." He tries to downplay it.

"Are you saying I can't do what I was made to do properly?" I snap at near tears.

"Your Highness-" Robert appears, standing closely to Trevor, "-forgive my intrusion but I agree with General Trevor here- you couldn't have gotten to them in time. They were close to the Outer Borders of the next kingdom." Robert backs Trevor up. I sigh.

I may not been able to get to them but I should have been on high alert. I should have not let my guard down. Not now. I promised myself this wouldn't happen after that battle. My personal life got in the way of my work.

"And it's all your fault." I spat at Trevor. Robert's face shows his confusion as I bust out past Trevor and into the garden. I hear Trevor comforting Robert as he chases after me.

"I shouldn't have...I shouldn't have let you in!" I say as I storm towards the gazebo.

"What?" Trevor breaths out in confusion. "My queen, I don't understand-"

"I shouldn't have let you in!" I sob, tears flowing out. I rest my head into my grieving hands, covering the mess that is my face. The wood creaks as his shoes walk next to me, the bench heaving under our weight.

"I shouldn't have done this." I mumble moments after he sat down, the tears messing up my words.

"My queen, I'm afraid...I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean." I sigh as I prepare to answer his statement- "But I do know that, you can't always feel that everything is under your name. I mean, not that you're bad but um, that...that sometimes the world is too big, and we can't always afford to save everyone under the confines of time. You got to learn to..." He lowers his voice and carefully says, "...let go."

I sob harder as the rain, literal rain starts to fall around the gazebo. It soon turn into a waterfall that conceals us from the outsides of the circular gazebo and evaporates into mist at the steps of the area. Perfect for hiding private moments. The gushing of the waterfall falling from non-existing source made of magic help pull me away from my sore eyes.

The atmosphere is tense as I can tell by Trevor's soft breathing and the warmth of his arms hesitating. Then, I feel it. He stiffens nore as his arm slowly and steadily wraps around my shoulder, pulling me close to him slowly enough that I don't feel shocked by the move. Soon, I am leaning into his shoulder and chest, my tears soaking a piece of his cape as he pats me calmly.

Soon, my sobbing came to an end and I'm exhausted from all that crying. Maybe that one of walls that the Omissionary was stating- I am too pure to think about the real world the way I am as often than I should be thinking it as in reality. No one can be perfect.