Coffee Shop

IV

Edit 1: 26/08/2018
Edit 2: 25/02/2023

4th December 2020, 09:02
My feet reached the end of the first grave that was first dug when the church and its graveyard was built.

Cerise Olivine Byzantine
17th January 1812 - 18th March 1868
"F.E.A.R Has two meanings:
Forget Everything And Run
Or
Face Everything And Rise.
The choice is yours."

Slowly and carefully, I pulled out a red rose from my bouquet and gently placed it in the centre of the lady's grave, someone I do not know.

Timidly, I stepped over to the next grave stone and placed another rose in the centre, reading the headstone like I always do.

Azure Offing
2nd February 1834 - 22nd July 1899
"Just because my path was
different from yours,
doesn't mean I was lost."

I loved to read the headstones of the deceased. It gives you an insight into what they were like when they lived, what their personality was. Some had inspirational quotes while others had information of them, written by the family they left behind.

Taking my time, I wondered over to each grave, placing a red rose in the centre. I've done this for four years, every three months since I moved to London.

I've memorised each name written on the gravestones, starting to learn their dates. Always, I always took the same root around the graveyard, starting with the same grave and ending with the same.

It's always been red roses. Roses, they are beautiful, just like these people who used to be, who still are. Red, the semiotics of love. The love they had from their family when they lived and after, but also to symbolise danger. The danger of broken hearts once they left the world to move on to a better place, leaving cherished ones behind.

Of course, this may not be the case for every person that is lying underneath this soil, but one can only assume the best.

I never knew a single person in this graveyard, but I still felt the need to visit them. To make them feel remembered. Granted, I probably don't have to visit every three month, but I want to.

Delicately, I placed the last rose in the centre of, what I though was, the last grave. However, in the corner of my eye, I spotted something large and shiny. Turning my head, I noticed that it was another gravestone that I have never seen before.

With heavy feet, I trudged over to the gravestone and squatted in front of it to read the headstone.

Alizerin Claret
29th October 2009 - 1st December 2020
"A loving daughter with the
kindest heart. You were the
family's halcyon when you were
born and forever will be. You will
be deeply missed."

She was only eleven years old..

I looked up to the celeste, December sky, bitter tears threatening to fall. Looking at Alizerin's grave gave me a sense of onism. She was taken too soon.

With a shaking hand, I reached out to touch the child's name and closed my eyes, silently giving my condolences for the unknown girl. I must get another red rose.

Fifty one.

Fifty one graves in this graveyard. Fifty one people who are now gone from this world, forming a syzygy in the sky, only to be seen at night for those who are aware like myself.

My eyes felt like they were stuck together from my salty tears I had cried, but I managed to pry them open and stand up. I dragged my feet all the way back to the large iron gates of the graveyard in sadness.

"She was a young one, wasn't she," the vicar uttered to me sympathetically. Of course he knew I was going to see the new, depressing addition to this graveyard.

Placing a withered hand on my shoulder, he looked into my teary eyes. "You are one amazing person Xandra, truly. You have so much empathy and care for others that you knew not of," he began, his eyes becoming misty. "Stay like this and you'll achieve many things, but you will also slowly break yourself," he finished solemnly.

All I could do was nod my head. I was confused on what he meant, I know I'll be studying his every word in my lecture today, but I know what he is saying are words of wisdom.

"Will I be seeing you later on in the day?" He asked, taking his hand off of my shoulder and gently smiled at my fragile self.

"You shall," I managed to choke out. "Fifty one. Fifty one roses shall be lying in this graveyard," I whispered. "So little, yet so many. So many tears shed, so many hearts broken, so many dreams forgotten."

"Yes, unfortunately, but death is not the opposite of life, but part of it. Remember that, Xandra," the vicar reminded me softly.

"I will. Thank you Adalson," I replied, nodding my head at the old man.

"Off you go now. Please don't dwell too much about Alizerin Claret, Xandra, from what I heard, she lived a happy life," Adalson reassured, trying to make me feel better.

I nodded my head again. "Okay, thank you. I'll be off now, good bye Adalson," I whispered, watching the priest nod his head and watch me as I ambled my way out of the church grounds and back onto the streets of London.

Though the church was in a desolate part of London, therefore not many people knew of its existence, it was a garden of eden to me. It was placed in a quiet section, not far from the jam packed roads of London, only one or two streets away.

It was strange how, in less than half a mile away, there were fifty red roses lying on gravestones, soon to be fifty one, but so close to a road that thrived with life.

The wide pavements were now crowded with people rushing all over the place. I looked at each person's face. Some did not smile but scowl at the people in front of them who were walking too slowly. Some smiled out of kindness to the people they made eye contact with, but only received a blank, emotionless stare back. Some stood by each other, whispering and laughing about a person that walked past them and looked 'different'.

What an ugly world we live in filled with kalopsia.

Hiraeth always took over my senses when walking the streets of London. A strong urge of want rushed through my body to go back somewhere, but I don't know where.

Keeping my head low, I meandered my way through the self absorbed people who thought they were better than everyone else in their smart suits or uniforms. Maybe they were, maybe they weren't. I don't care.

As I walked, my mind wondered back to what Adalson had told me at the church. Those words, they'll stick with me for the rest of my life. I only heard it once, but it made me feel... safe?

Death is not the opposite of life, but part of it.

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Hope you're still enjoying this! I had a sudden rush of inspiration for this chapter, not really sure why.
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